


This Feeling

by Sinticide



Category: Good Omens - Neil Gaiman & Terry Pratchett
Genre: Angst, Emotional/Psychological Abuse, Fluff, Gabriel is a horrible person, Human AU, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, M/M, Marriage Proposal, Mentions of Drag, Normalize trans pregnancy, Other, Physical Abuse, Trans Male Character, Unplanned Pregnancy, trans aziraphale
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-11-27
Updated: 2020-11-19
Packaged: 2021-02-26 00:49:07
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 17
Words: 30,575
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21584842
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sinticide/pseuds/Sinticide
Summary: Aziraphale is in a predicament that he doesn’t think he can get out of... but he meets his oldest friend from his childhood at his new university and things begin to change.
Relationships: Aziraphale/Crowley, Aziraphale/Gabriel
Comments: 11
Kudos: 78





	1. Chapter 1

It wasn’t a surprise to Aziraphale Zachary Fell when he was accepted into Cambridge University. It didn't even surprise his parents. Why would it? He came from money and was very smart, resourceful and he was quite charming when it came to looks and mannerisms. He was very polite even when faced with some type of conflict, which that is something that he always tried to avoid. But that was always easier said than done, especially at home..

Aziraphale takes a deep breath as he walks the campus, holding his books close to his chest while his chin rested on top of them. He tried to keep his eyes on the light pavement in front of him so he wouldn’t disturb anyone around him. He always felt like a burden to everyone around him, even people he didn’t know. He didn’t always feel like this. It wasn’t until his senior year in high school until he met his partner Gabriel.   
  


Gabriel was a very handsome man. Dark hair, broad shoulders, classy taste in clothing and not to mention his beautiful violet eyes. It was of course a rare birth defect, but it was quite remarkable in his opinion. He was charming when they _first_ met. He would always bring him flowers to his work, begging for a chance and one date. It took him six months to finally give in and say yes. At first he didn’t regret saying yes, but today he kind of does. They have been seeing each other for three years and he wasn’t allowed to have friends or leave without his partners knowledge. Gabriel had been nothing but kind and loving, never so much as raised his voice to his partner when it benefits him, which it normal did. Aziraphale didn’t put much of a fight when it came to what his partner wanted. A family meeting here, a Business party there. All he was a pretty _thing_ to be shown off. That all he felt like at Gabriel’s side. A prized possession.   
  
  
Last night had been the worst night of his life in the three years they had been together. 

_“Come on, Sunshine. You can’t keep saving yourself like this!”_ _Gabriel’s hands wrap around his partner from behind a little to roughly, placing a kiss to his hair. “I know you’re self conscious, and you should be. Have you seen how much weight you’ve gained since we’ve met?” He snarls a bit as he takes a step back, removing his arms from around his partner. “We’ve been together for three years and you won’t do anything but kiss me!”_  
  


_Aziraphale almost couldn’t stand his partner’s American accent as he was being belittled. He couldn’t help but feel small even though everything Gabriel was saying was true. He had a secret that one only person knew and it wasn’t Gabriel. He wasn’t sure now would be the appropriate time, or if it ever would be to explain it. He stays silent as he continues to be belittled. It was also true that they haven’t done anything physical besides a few kisses here and there._

_“Maybe I should just take what his mine, Azira.” Gabriel grabs his partner’s bicep roughly, pulling him closer. “Possession is nine tenths of the law, after all.”_

_“I am not some ‘thing’ you can control, Gabriel! I am a human being.” Aziraphale tries to yank his arm out of the others grip, but was quickly backhanded and let go to only drop down to the ground beneath.  
_

_“Don’t think I haven’t seen you in the shower, Azira. Oh, you’re a ‘thing’ alright. I don’t know why I stayed with you after I seen. You’re not a man at all, are you?” Gabriel bends down to get eye level with his partner and lifts his chin, making him look into his violet eyes which Aziraphale completely ignored, looking to the side. “I thought so. You have that pretty little cunt between your legs. I think I’ll have some fun with that.” He jerks his partners chin to the side, making him finally look into his eyes. “What do you think would happen if something like this was released to the press? How would it effect your parent?” He stands and kicks his partner in the stomach, causing him to double over with a ‘oof.’ “You will marry me, Azira and none of this will ever come out. Understand?”  
_

_Aziraphale couldn’t do anything but nod as he tries to hold back the tears that threaten to stain his cheeks. This is not how he imagined the night would end, how he would be proposed to, or even that Gabriel would force himself on him, taking what he wanted and not caring about how rough he was being as Aziraphale tries to escape his hold. It hurt. Oh it hurt once Gabriel was being particularly rough with him, causing something to ‘pop’ inside of him and he cried out, trying to push him off. There was so much blood, so much that was staining the sheets underneath him. it was hours before he was released and able to move freely even though he was so sore that he couldn’t move without his whole body igniting with pain. Gabriel didn’t seem to notice or care as he removed himself from the bed. “A fucking virgin, of course. Get up and clean up this mess, Azira.”_

Aziraphale turns his head to the side, hiding the bruises on his face in the crook of his shoulder as someone passes a little to close for comfort. He had thought about calling off his class today, but it was the first day of the new semester and he couldn’t afford to miss the first day. No matter the pain he was in or the bruises that covered his face. He could do this. He had to. All he had to do was act like a pile of books had landed on his as he carelessly searched for a specific one. It would at least cover the bruises on his face, but if anyone else seen the rest of his body, it might be a little harder to explain. He takes in another deep breath and he picks up his pace, trying to clear his mind. He thought about just dropping his books and take a run though the campus, maybe even keep going until he was sure he was out of England. His pace quickens even more, not even paying attention to where he was really going. He was almost certain that he was going to be late for his first class if he kept walking in the wrong direction, but at this point he didn’t care, not one bit. He was so _angry_ that he really didn’t care. Why didn’t he try to stop Gabriel’s beating? Why didn’t he just leave? He could just leave now and never look back.. It’s not like his secret would hurt his parents’ reputation that much. They of course knew that he wasn’t a male. But that didn’t matter. It was his choice and they just wanted him to be happy and loved, and he was.. until last night. He was pulled from his thoughts as someone was yelling. Was it at him? 

“Oi! Look out —“ He could here a whoosh pass his ear after the warning was given, and the feeling of something hard press against the side of his face, nearly knocking him to the grass. “Ah - F — mmm.” Luckily, he only stumbled to the side and it was only his books that fell to the grass. He takes a moment before he bends down to pick them up with a huff, his back to the person that called out to him. 

“Sorry, Mate. I didn’t see you there until it was — Aziraphale?” He stiffens once he heard his name, oh god what was Gabriel doing here? Wait.. that didn’t sound like his partner. It sounded like —

“ _Anthony?”_ He turns to face the other male, adjusting his books nervously. All bruises and pain forgotten in an instant as he finally looks up at the male. Anthony J. Crowley had Gabriel beat in looks. He was quite a handsome man. Dark red hair, thin with all the right curves, golden eyes that he usually hid behind dark sunglasses. It was a surprise when Aziraphale spotted them on the bridge of his nose as a wide grin crosses his lips. “Ah, well yeah - but you know I prefer Crowley.” He sheepishly nods. “Right, of course.” It was nice to see a familiar face, but he had to get out of her soon as he could before this could get back to Gabriel. “I - I have to go..” He turns to leave in the direction that he came from. A soft hand softly grabs his shoulder to stop him, but he doesn’t turn around and tightens his grip around his books, pulling them closer to his chest. “I’d like to catch up sometime, Angel.” He finally turns around to face the other with slight anger across his features. “Don’t call me that, Anthony. It was fun when we were children,” He turns once more and began walking away with his chin against the top of the books, hunched over. “We’re not children anymore..” he mumbled loud enough for the other to hear. “I’m having a party tonight. I’d like for you to come, Angel!” He ignores the other as he continues to walk away.   
  


It hurt to walk way from him again, but it was really for his own safety. If Gabriel seen him talking to his old friend then things would be worse in the long run. It would be easier if he just kept walking and not think about the feelings that he once had for Anthony. It was insanity to think he ever felt the same, and so that’s why he agreed to go out on the date with Gabriel all those years ago and why it took him so long to agree upon the date. Anthony was his first true love, or so he thought. But it only seemed that he wanted nothing more than friendship and that was okay with Aziraphale... for awhile.   
  


Aziraphale and Anthony were so close and he trusted the other, so much so that he had actually told Anthony his secret. Perhaps that’s why he never wanted anything more than friendship. He was lucky enough to have just that even though he always wanted more. He takes a deep breath and stops walking, causing a few people behind him to throw a curses as they walk past. He turns on his heels with a groan, walking back to his old friend. Anthony was playing football (Soccer) with a group of people in an open spot in the grass. So that must have been what hit him in the face was the football.. he snorts from the thought.

“So, where is this party?” He hollers from beside a tree as he watched Anthony make a goal, tripping at the last moment. 

“Angel!” Anthony halfway scolded even though he was excited to see him again. So soon even. Luckily, the ball still made it into the net.   
  


Aziraphale shrugs with an amused look across his features as his friend walks closer. Anthony was always taller than him and it was still hard to look up at him. He was quite short for his age and build, but he didn’t mind. He liked being eye level with someone chest, but Gabriel was quite tall so he always ended up looking at his stomach if he wasn’t looking up to him. Being 4’9 wasn’t easy especially when your old friend was 6’0 and your partner was 6’4.

He let out a soft whine once he realized just how much Anthony had grown since the last time he’s seen him. He had to at least be the same height as Gabriel now! _Christ._ He clears his throat which was followed by a involuntary high pitched noise that he’s never heard. “So, about that party..” 

“Oh! Right. I didn’t think you’d want to come. Seeing as you walked away the way you did.” Anthony grabs a towel from the bench that was sitting next to the tree and whips away the sweat that was dripping down his face.

”I can see why you’d think that. Perhaps I’ve changed my mind..” Aziraphale raised an almost challenging brow, a smirk across his lips.

”It’s going to be at my place. It starts at six. Come by a little early if your not busy.. and that’s if you want to. You remember where I live, right?”   
  


A nod was given. It was odd that he still lived in the same place. Perhaps his family finally gave him the house and they went on that trip they had been planning since Anthony was five. “I — I don’t have anything to do. How does three sound?” It would be easier to just leave campus and go to the party than it would be if he went home and hand to sneak out from Gabriel’s grip. That thought made him visibly shudder. Luckily, Anthony didn’t notice or pretend not to, just like the bruises. Thank God for small miracles.   
  


“Uh - Yeah, sure that will be fine. I look forward to seeing you, Angel. I mean it.” A soft smile was offered while he was being pulled into a quick hug.   
  


“R - Right. I’ll see you then.. thanks — Crowley.” He softly smiles once more and pulls away from the hug, leaving to his first class. 


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Aziraphale makes it to the party and has an interesting conversation with his oldest friend Crowley What could possibly go wrong with that?

Aziraphale fought with himself all day about whether or not he should go to the party that he was invited to. It was 2:45 P.M and he was somehow rounding the corner to Anthony’s house, not realizing where his feet was taking him until it was too late. He had met up with Gabriel for lunch at his flat and made up some excuse on why he had to stay at his own flat for the night. His excuse was school work.. on the first day of class. He knew it wasn’t very believable, but it was the best he could think of on such short notice. He would have said something about a family emergency, but none of his family would be a good alibi. It was sad that he even had to have an alibi. It’s not like he was a murderer or anything like that. Just in a really bad place and he couldn’t get out of it so easily. Luckily, Gabriel believed him and let him go, but not without a price.

Gabriel had forced himself on him once again, but he was rougher than before, slapping, squeezing, yelling as he took what he wanted and he didn’t put up a fight. It would only cause him to be even more violent and he knew it, so he just laid there and tried to not think about what was happening.. to think about the pain. He didn’t even finish the remaining classes that he had for the day, but he didn’t stick around once his partner fell asleep

Aziraphale arrives at Crowley’s house exactly at three sharp with newly formed bruises under his jaw and around his neck. He stands there, debating if he should even knock or just walk away. Walking away would save him heartbreak and pain in the end. He should just leave. Leaving was the best idea, but his mind thought otherwise. He was knocking on the door before he could even comprehend what was happening. It was too late now. No it wasn’t. Crowley hadn’t answered yet and he could just turn around and —

“Angel!” Crowley beams with happiness as he seen — the back of his friends head.   
  


_Fuck._

Aziraphale freezes as he was about to take a step down. He stays like that for a long moment before he turns to face his friend, even though he so desperately wanted to run. “Crowley.” He offers a soft smile even though it hurt.   
  


“I honestly didn’t think you’d come,” Crowley opens the door wider for the other to step inside. “But I’m glad you did.” he offers his own soft smile and steps aside.   
  


Aziraphale didn’t say anything as he passed his friend to step inside the home, not looking at the other as he passed. It was exactly like he remembered. It was nice to be in a place that was so familiar yet.. foreign. Everything was decorated for the party. It was the end of May. Why would — Oh. It hit him like a tone of bricks. “Happy birthday, Dear.”

How could he forget his birthday? In his defense, he didn’t think he ever wanted to speak to him again, not to mention they haven’t seen each other in three years. 

“Thanks, Angel. I can’t believe you remembered.” Crowley nonchalantly hands him a glass of a dark liquid. 

The shorter of the two accepts the drink that was offered to him and takes a quick sniff before taking a welcoming drink in one gulp. It burns as it goes down even though it made him feel a little better. ”Bourbon. Always a favorite.” He looks down at the empty glass as he flicks his wrist to twirl it. 

”I know, ” Crowley sits on the sofa and pats the empty spot beside him, silently asking the other to join him and he does. ”How are you, angel? You look like hell.”

Aziraphale softly snorts. Only if he knew how had felt. It felt like he had been hit by a bus... ”Car accident.” He nonchalantly points to the bruises on his face with a sheepish smile as he lies to his friend.   
  


“Did you get into one on the way here as well?” He slowly reaches for the new bruises as the other backs away, looking down to his empty glass once more.   
  


“Oh.. those. I was looking for a book and some fell. I can be so careless sometimes.”   
  


“I know when you’re lying, Aziraphale. Please don’t lie to me..” 

“It’s nothing. Really.”

”Aziraphale..” 

“It’s - It’s my own problem, Crowley. Now please..” 

There was a knock on the door and Aziraphale took that as his cue to leave. He really didn’t want to be around a lot of people. He stood when the other did to answer the door. “I must be going... I’ll —“ 

“It’s just going to be family, Angel. They’d like to see you again. They’ve been asking about you and I couldn’t give them answers to questions I didn’t know. Please... just stay. For me?”   
  


There was another knock and Crowley moved to answer it before he could get an answer. He didn’t know what to say. Did he actually miss him that much, or was it just out of pity? He sighs and makes himself another drink, a little more than needed and drinks it in one gulp before making another. Might as well get snookered.   
  


“Gabriel! I didn’t think you’d be coming with Zira! How nice to see you!”   
  


Aziraphale almost choke on his drink as he heard footsteps coming closer. 

“Oh - Uh - I was looking for — Oh! There you are! I’ve been so worried!” Gabriel closes the distance between them and wraps his arms around his partner while he stays completely still, not hugging back until there was a pinch at his side that caused him to let out a faint yelp and he quickly wrapped his arms around the other.   
  


_bastard.  
_

“What are you doing here, Gabriel?” He let his arms fall to his sides and takes a step back. 

“You said that you’d be at your flat tonight and I went to take you dinner, but you wasn’t there and I knew that you and Anthony —“ 

“Crowley.” He man standing behind them, watching all of this unfold, corrected him.   
  


Gabriel continues his poor excuse for an explanation like Crowley never said anything. “— Were close and I remember that he lived here at one point, wasn’t entirely sure if he still did.”   
  


”Ah. That was my fault. I invited him to my birthday party. My family has been worried sick about him and they wanted to catch up.” He finally moves around to stand behind his friend, placing a reassuring hand on his shoulder. He’s not stupid. He connected the dots soon as Gabriel walked into the room.   
  


“Oh? It’s your birthday? Well happy birthday, Crowley. I’m afraid he has to come home though.”   
  


“Oh? Why is that?” 

“His mother is very ill and he needs to come home to see her.” 

“She was just fine this morning.” Aziraphale finally stepped into the conversation. “Why don’t I give her a ring. Crowley, you don’t mind if I use your land line, do you?” He began walking to the kitchen to grab the phone off of the wall.   
  


“No! of course not, Angel. Go right ahead.” He had the biggest smirk across his lips as he glances at Gabriel before following his friend.   
  


“That won’t be necessary if you just come with me, Azira. She’s been asking for you since lunch.”   
  


_That_ caused Aziraphale to freeze in his tracks, Crowley bumping into him from the sudden stop. ”Is everything okay, Angel?” He whispered in his ear, reaching up to softly rub the frozen man’s biceps which caused a soft hiss of pain. “Help me.” Aziraphale whispers in return. It leaves his lips before he could even think of what happened. He was right. It was his own problem that he needed to take care of. Not Crowley. 

It didn’t take but a few seconds for the other to catch on to what was _really_ going on here. He lets go of his biceps and turns, walking back to Gabriel with the calmest manner Aziraphale has ever seen. ”He’s going to spend the night with me. I’ll see to it that he gets to his mother.” 

Gabriel was quiet for a long moment, squinting at Crowley like he had said something foreign. “Alright. Make sure to have him home in the morning.” And with that, he was gone out the door.   
  


“Those were from him, weren’t they?” He asked as he walked back into the kitchen. His friend never moved from his spot. His hands began to softly rub against his the others biceps in a comforting motion. ”Angel, Please talk to me.”   
  


Aziraphale couldn’t talk or move. He couldn’t do anything. It seemed that he even stopped breathing for awhile, not even sure for how long. “I think I should go..” He finally spoke up, moving around his friend and moving quickly for the front door.   
  


“Angel, please..” He begs as he follows his friend, placing the same soft hand on his shoulder. “Don’t go. Stay here, enjoy this with me. Forget about him for the night or permanently. You can stay here long as you like or need. You know I’ve always cared for you.”   
  


“C - Cared for me?” Aziraphale was in disbelief and scoffs. “If you truly cared for me, I wouldn’t be in this god forsaken situation. I only went out with Gabriel because _you_ — I suppose it doesn’t matter now. Its my problem. You didn’t force me to date him, not really. I was just so angry because I _loved you,_ Crowley. But everything I tried to make it more.. you pulled away. I suppose I deserve it. I deserve all of this...” Tears began to fall and stain his cheeks with a rose tent. “Happy birthday, Crowley.” Aziraphale wiggles out of his grip and walks out the door, but doesn’t go home. He’s not ready for what he knows is about to come. 


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I just want to thank everyone for the feedback! It means a lot to me.

It has been three weeks since Crowley has heard anything from his friend Aziraphale. He hasn’t even seen him on campus and that began to really worry him. It was never like him to miss class, and this brought him to his current situation; finding his phone number, address or anything. He just wanted to see if he was okay. He wasn’t lying when he explained that he cared about his friend. Even though ‘care’ is a severe understatement. He _loved_ Aziraphale, but he could never bring himself to act on this love and when he had told him about Gabriel and the date request, it was to late. It was hopeless. He didn’t want to ruin something that could be potentially good for him, but now he sees that it wasn’t good for him at all. _I wonder how long he had to put up with this. Was he this awful from the beginning? Was his kindness just a ruse?_ He inhales deeply, looking through his old contacts in his little black book. He had found Aziraphale’s number, but it was disconnected. _Perhaps he just got a new number?_ He thought as he hung up the phone. The next contact would be his parents. _They’re old fashioned. Maybe the still have the same number?_ it rang twice before someone answered. _Thank - someone for small miracles._  
  


“Fell residence. How many I help you?” A chipper female voice chimes though the phone.   
  


“Mrs. Fell! Hello. Hi. Um - this is Anthony Crowley. Do you - Uh - remember me by any chance?”   
  


Mrs. Fell giggles. “Of course I remember you, Dear.” She lowers her voice to a whisper. “You were Azira’s first love, you know.” 

“Ngk.” Crowley was left speechless for a long moment before he remembered why he had called. “How are you feeling, Mrs. Fell? Gabriel came here a few weeks ago looking for Zira and said that you were ill.”   
  


“I’m quite alright, My Dear. I wonder about that boy sometimes. More recently actually. Azira came by around that time, I think it was around your birthday actually, and he had bruises all over his face and body. He just told me that he was in a car accident a few days prior. I didn’t believe him for a second. He’s a terrible lier. He gets that from his father, you know.” She pointed out. 

_Christ. Does everyone from the fell family remember my birthday?  
_

“Mrs. Fell, I - He wasn’t in a car accident. Those bruises were from Gabriel. He asked me for help that day, but then he left after Gabriel did. Patrica, I haven’t seen him in three weeks.”   
  


Mrs. Fell was quite for a long moment. He almost thought she had hung up on him. 

”Mrs. —“

”Anthony, I need you to listen to me very closely. I need you to come see me and Mr. Fell in thirty minutes. Can you do that for me?”

”Patricia, I —“

”Anthony! Please... this is very important. I need you to find Azira if he is missing and I need you to kick his partner’s ass for me. No one lays a hand on my son and gets away with it.” 

“I’m not a hitman, Patricia!” 

She giggles from the comment. “No, but you love my son.” 

“I’ll be there in ten..” He quickly hung up the phone and grabbed his keys, wallet and sunglasses, slipping them on before he headed out the door.   
  


* * *

Aziraphale wakes with a splitting headache, but it was nothing compared to his throbbing muscles as he tries to move. He hasn’t even opened his eyes yet, and he didn’t know if he wanted to. He tries to lift his hand to his forehead, but they were tied behind his back with what felt like something silk. A tie. He opens his eyes at the realization and tries to say something, but his mouth was gagged as well. It was dark where ever he was, and cold. The cold air covers his exposed, bruised and broken skin like an ice blanket. Even though he was cold, he could feel the sweat dripping from his temple. He closes his eyes, pretending to be asleep once he heard footsteps round the room.   
  


”Oh don’t play dead, Azira. It’s not a good look for you.” Gabriel steps closer so he could be seen. “On second thought, it does look good on you. It’s a shame I can’t just kill you, but I wouldn’t want to kill two people. Now would I?”   
  


_two people? What on earth is he — no. Can’t be. Impossible!_  
  
it really wasn’t impossible and it was quite true. Aziraphale never fully became a male... 

His eyes snap open and he sets up quickly head butting Gabriel, instantly making him dizzy. “You BASTARD!” Came the muffled cry. 

Gabriel stumbles backwards, holding his forehead with his palm, a wicked grin across his lips. “That’s not a nice way to speak to the father of your child, Azira..” before he could advance on the other, there was a knock on the door. “Help! Help me from this crazy bastard!” He tries to scream out, but it was all muffled from his gag.   
  


“I really hope that’s your little boyfriend, Azira. I’ll let you watch while I bleed him dry.” Gabriel steps out of view and out of the room to answer the door.   
  


* * *

“What are you? Some type of spy?” Crowley asked Patricia Fell as they were walking down the hallway to Aziraphale’s flat. They had tried Gabriel’s and no one was there, so it was logical to check the next flat.   
  


”Something like that,” She offers him a sly smile and a pat on his shoulder. “Everything will be alright. I have a feeling that he’s here.”

”I’m just glad you were smart enough to call the police before we got here. You’re a good person, Mrs. Fell and you’ve raised an wonderful son.”   
  


She smiles and stops in front of her sons flat, knocking on the door and silently waits until someone opens it. Hopefully her son. They could hear foot steps and mumbling coming from inside the flat before the door slightly opens, the chain lock blocking the rest. Gabriel’s violet eye almost glows in the darkness as it peaks out.   
  


“Patricia. What a surprise we weren’t expecting you.” He said calmly.   
  


luckily, Crowley was out of his view and he kept quite, listing to the exchange and the mumbling that continued. It sounded like it was coming from the back of the flat. Perhaps their bedroom. 

“I wasn’t aware I needed an appointment to see my son. May I please see him?” She replied politely.   
  


“I’m afraid he’s a bit indecent at the moment. Bath and all.”   
  


”I can come in and wait for him. It’s not a problem.”   
  


“I don’t think that’s a very good idea. He hasn’t been feeling well lately. Been throwing up everywhere for last three weeks.”   
  


“O - Oh. He’s not.. “

”Afraid so. We were going to tell you and Mr. Fell tomorrow actually, but — Surprise!”   
  


Mrs. Fell glances down the hallway where she seen two police officers quickly making their way down to hall and then quickly turns her attention back to Gabriel. 

“Ah! All the more reason for me to see him! He must be terribly sick.”   
  


It took Crowley a moment to catch on. He had almost forgotten about Aziraphale not being.. well fully male. _No. Please say he’s lying. That can’t be true. It just can’t be._  
  


Aziraphale had managed to wiggle his gag down to his chin and he began to scream. “Help! Please help me! Help!”   
  


“Ah. It seems that he got stuck in the tub. Please. Excuse me.” The door was slammed in their faces as the police made it to the door. Loud slaps and cries could be heard coming from behind the door.   
  


“Aziraphale!” Crowley bangs on the door as he screams before he was pushed aside by one of the police offers.   
  


The officer kicked in the door with one, quick kick and pushed himself inside, his partner following quickly behind and Crowley behind them. Mrs. Fell stayed in the hallway, stunned by what just unfolded in front of her. She could hear one last, hard slap before one of the officers grabbed Gabriel and cuffed him and quickly dragged him out of the flat right past her. 

“You don’t have a son.” He whispers as he passed.   
  
She didn’t say a word as she stepped into the flat. 

Crowley had untied Aziraphale and he quickly took off his coat to cover him up. “Your mom doesn’t need to see you like this.” He whispers, holding his friend close. He had thought the bruises were bad, but this - this was _bad._ There were bruises that covered the majority of his body, cuts line his legs and arms. They were still fresh as blood flows down the exposed skin. “Oh Zira - I’m so sorry.” He holds him tighter as his mother walks into the room and moves closer to the other officer. “I want to press charges. I also want a restraining order against that monster.”   
  


“Yes, Mrs Fell. I’ll get right on that ma’am.” The officer nods before stepping out of the flat, passing two medics. They didn’t even make it into the bedroom before the woman shooed them away. 

“We’ll take him.” She said calmly.   
  


“Patricia, please... he’s bleeding pretty badly.” Crowley begs.   
  


“If you trust my son, then please give me some of that trust.” She replied with a soft warm smile. “Please.”

He swallows the lump in his throat and slowly nods.   
  


“Thank you, my dear. Now help me lay him down.” 

Crowley did what he was told and laid his friend down on the bed, still covered in his coat and apparently passed out. He didn’t even realize that he had fainted. He wasn’t even sure when that had happened.   
  


“Good. Now step back.”

”Don’t you need my -“

” _Please,_ Anthony. Just step back and cover your eyes.”   
  


He swallows the lump that refused to go down and takes a step back, standing behind Aziraphale’s mother. 

“Everything will be explained when we get him home, no questions until then. Understand?”

He nods and watches as she moves closer to her son, her palms flat as she places them on his chest. The room soon begins to glow from a golden light that seemed to be raiding though them. That was the last thing Anthony Crowley remembers before everything went black.   
  


* * *

Crowley wakes up with a groan in a room that he recognized, but hasn’t seen in years. It was Aziraphale’s room. It looked like a time capsule that hasn’t been touched in centuries. There was a thin layer of dust over everything that was left in it’s place. He reaches up and grabs his head, groaning even more from the throbbing pain that cracked though his skull. He looks over at the clock on the night stand. It was was nine in the morning and decided everyone would be awake by now. He throws the blankets to the side and made his way to the bedroom door, peaking outside before stepping out. It was eerily quiet as he steps though the rather large home. Floorboards creaking underfoot as she slowly walks down the stairs and into the kitchen. There, in the kitchen, was Patricia Fell and her son. Her _son_. Aziraphale looked astonishing. Not a hair out of place, his blue eyes gleam with happiness as he spotted Crowley standing in the doorway.

”Crowley!” He gets up from his seat and wraps his arms around his stunned friend. “I do believe I owe you a thank you. I would probably be dead if it wasn’t for you and my mother.” He places a kiss to the still stunned males cheek. “Thank you, Anthony.” He loosens his grip, but keeps his arms wrapped around the other.

Eventually, Crowley comes out of his trance and wraps his arms around Aziraphale, leaning down to brush his cheek against blonde curls. “I’m so glad you’re okay, Angel.”   
  


Mrs Fell clears her throat. “It looks like Gabriel was bluffing about the child.” She explained calmly with a slight smirk. “You can resume your classes in a week, Azira. I want you to take a small break. You’re heath is more important than your education that you obviously don’t need. You’re brilliant enough already, my love.”   
  


Aziraphale releases his hold on Crowley and moves to hug his mother, fighting back tears. She’s always been so supportive. “I love you, Mother. Thank you.” He meant that in more ways than one. He knew she was the one bluffing about the child, and she lied to Crowley about it, because _she_ was the one who got rid of it. If it were under any other circumstances, he wouldn’t agree to it, but he couldn’t have a _monster_ growing inside of him.   
  


Crowley didn’t know what to say. “Ngk.” Well, at least he managed that. He was wondering how all of Aziraphale’s wounds have disappeared. 

“Oh! Heavens. Sorry, Dear. You’ve been asleep for a few days. That’s why my wounds are healed. Mother has wonderful ointments that do wonders.”   
  


”It’s really creepy how you two manage to do that. You both did it all the time when you were younger. It was so odd.” Mrs. Fell said calmly, stirring her tea.   
  


Crowley sucks in a long breath though his teeth while he looks in between both of the Fell’s. “I need a drink...” 


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Six months pass without Gabriel, and Aziraphale can’t help but feel safe and content in the simple company of his supportive friend. But good things only last for awhile..

Six months passed since Aziraphale has seen Gabriel, and he couldn’t be happier. He has friends, freedom and his body doesn’t constantly ache. Between the two of them, they have fallen into a type of normalcy and routine over the last few months. They would meet for lunch or dinner, depending on one or the other’s scheduled classes. It was dinner more often than not, and tonight Aziraphale has invited his friend over for a thanksgiving dinner for something a little more personal. He knew it was an odd request, why not spend it with family? But he didn’t feel like going out that night and it was last minute that he didn’t think Crowley would have agreed to it, but to his surprise, he did. and thus this is how they ended up in their current situation; limbs tangled as Aziraphale leans over his friend, trying to reach for something, trying not to fall as he flicks the little arrow. “Right hand blue, my dear.” 

Poor Crowley was holding himself _and_ Aziraphale up with his arms and legs, doing some type of odd crab walk as he tries to move his hand. “Angel, I’m about to let you win. How can you be so good at _twister._ This isn’t fair!” He whines, moving his hand to the spot that was requested, which was easier said than done since they were already on their second bottle of wine. “Angel - Uh —“ He collapses on his back with a ‘oof’ as Aziraphale follows and falls on top of him with a giggle. He glares at the other. “Oh don’t look at me like that. That was your fault, Dear. It’s not _my_ fault that I’m so flexible.”   
  


Crowley snorts and shifts, trying to find a comfortable position underneath Aziraphale. It wasn’t that he wanted him to get up, quite the opposite actually. He reaches up and wraps his arms around the other once he felt him trying to get up. “Stay, Angel.” He whispers softly, looking into beautiful blue eyes that seemed to look right though him, right into his soul. They were always filled with so much _love_ and adoration. Sometimes it knocked him right off his feet. Thank someone that he was currently laying on his back, looking up at _the love of his life_ , but he was such a coward that he could never act on them.   
  


Aziraphale looks down at his friend with a raised brow, looking into his golden eyes. “I’m afraid I still have something in the oven, my dear. We don’t want our dinner to burn, now do we?” 

“No, I suppose not.” He let go and sat up, grabbing his wine glass as he began to move around his friends apartment while he went off to the kitchen. “Angel, I’ve been meaning to ask you something.”   
  


Aziraphale almost drops the turkey upon hearing his friend. So many thoughts race though his mind as he tries to right his mistake and places the still hot pan on the stove. “Oh, and what’s that?” It could be anything, but he was hoping for one specific thing... _a date._  
  


“I - Um -“ Crowley’s voice becomes louder as she makes his way into the kitchen, standing next to his friend with his back to the counter, leaning against it with his ankles crossed and a nonchalant slouch. “T - That night when your mom and I came to your flat.. I seen her do something to you, but I’m not sure what it was. Her — Hands just seemed to glow and then you were all better a few days later.” He nonchalantly plays with the bottom of his friends shirt that was untucked from his pants. It must have slipped out for their previous game. 

Aziraphale almost chokes on his air by the time his friend was done with his subtle questioning, but he stays silent as he continues to prepare the rest of the food, keeping his eyes down so they couldn’t glance at beautiful golden ones. It was wonderful that he had his best friend back after three years of not seeing each other, even though it was his own fault for choosing Gabriel over his friendship. But he would never make such a stupid mistake again. Sure, everything was going nice between the two of them. Some (his mother) would even call it somewhat domestic. No matter how nice it sounds, he knows it will never come to that. he frowns from the thought as he remains silent, moving around the kitchen. 

“Oh come on, Angel... I at least deserve some type of explanation. Even if it’s a horrible lie.” Crowley move closer to his friend, nudging him with his shoulder with a smirk across his lips. He knew that Aziraphale would never lie to him. He’s always been upfront and honest.   
  


“I will explain everything after dinner,” He said firmly, not leaving room for any type of negotiation.   
  


“Alright. I’ll wait.” He’s waited for six months after all. What’s a few more hours?   
  


* * *

A few hours felt like a lifetime as they ate in content silence, stealing a few glances at each other when someone wasn’t looking, or over a wine glass every now and again. It was nice and the whole room felt warm and inviting. After they both were done, Crowley gets up and takes the plates to the kitchen to clean them. It was only fair since his friend made the dinner for them. 

“I think we should make this a tradition, Angel.” He reaches over Aziraphale to grab his wine glass to refill it and hands it back.   
  


“Well. I’d like that, but that might anger my mother, my dear.” He takes a drink of his wine with a sheepish smile. “Although, she was quite pleased when I told her that I was spending the holiday with you.”   
  


“Ngk.” He didn’t know what to say to that and sits next to his friend on the sofa, maybe a little close, but he didn’t really care and it seemed neither did Aziraphale. “Well, why don’t we spend Christmas together, and the new year? I - I really didn’t have anything planned.”   
  


“Would you like to come with me to my parents for Christmas? I’m sure my mother won’t be as forgiving on that day. Perhaps we can spend Christmas eve together and Christmas with my parents?” He takes another gulp of wine, feeling a little nervous and self conscious since Crowley hasn’t touched his.   
  


“I’d like that, Angel. We can go off together on New Years. Perhaps even take a trip to New York to see the ball drop!” He knew that he was probably getting a little head of himself, but he couldn’t help it. He wanted to spend as much time with Aziraphale as he could.   
  


“I - Well - Yeah, Yes. That sounds like it would be fun.” He finishes the rest of his drink in one gulp and turns to refill it.   
  


They both fell into a silence between them, just enjoying each other’s presence. It was nice to just be able to sit in silence. No awkwardness between the two of them. Well - none that was visible between the two of them. They both were internally nervous for two different reasons. Crowley was nervous because he wanted to lean over and _finally_ kiss his best friend, but wanted to wait until the right moment. Perhaps he would do it on New Year’s Eve right before the ball drops. Maybe he should just do it now.. 

Aziraphale was nervous as he thought of an explanation to tell his friend about his mother. Would he think differently about him if he told the truth? Would he be okay with it? Of course he won’t be okay with it! It was something mind altering, something to change the whole perspective of how you see things. He takes another drink of his newly poured wine, his third glass since they have sat down, and sighs over the rim of his glass. He might as well tell him the truth. Why start lying to him now?   
  


“C - Crowley,” He finally broke the silence and clears his throat, sitting up a little straighter. “I know this is going to sound like complete insanity, but you’re right. You deserve to know about my mother...” He trails off, leaving room for his friend to stop him or ask questions. 

“She _is_ human, right?” He asked, raised his own glass to his lips.   
  


“Very much so,” He offers a soft smile that didn’t quite reach his lips, taking another deep sigh and clears his throat. “S - She’s a witch, Crowley.”   
  


“That’s not a very nice way to speak — Oh Christ, you’re serious!” He noticed the look on his friends face and quickly moved from the sofa, but didn’t step away, just hovered over Aziraphale for a long moment as he looks down at him in disbelief. “D - Does — are you one as well?”   
  


“Afraid so, even though I chose not to practice. She’s a healer, Crowley. She doesn’t normally practice the dark stuff, just —“ He sighs and tightly closes his eyes, taking another drink of his wine. “I can understand how that might frighten you, but she only means well. You know how kind my mother can be.”   
  


“I do. I’ve also seen that she didn’t go after Gabriel after what he did to you. Any mother with dark magic at her side would have killed him and make it look like an accident.”   
  


Aziraphale slowly nods, taking another drink of his wine, feeling a nice buzz coming along. It was - tranquil. “She’d never hurt anyone. I hope you can keep this secret like you did mine. I trust you, Crowley.. I always have.” He leans over and places a kiss to his friends cheek, slowly moving to the corner of his mouth to place another there. 

“Ngk — Yes, ‘Course I will, Angel.” And he meant it. His arms wrap around Aziraphale’s waist and pulls him into a tight hug. _I love you. You’re mother could have murdered someone and I would have still kept the secret.  
_

”Thank you, M - My Dear.” He places another kiss to Crowley’s shoulder as he was being held. It felt wonderful to be in his arms like this. It was so personal. “I - I -“ _I love you._ “I wanted to say thank you for everything you’ve done for me for me in the last few months, Crowley. You’ve been so kind to me.”   
  


“Well. That’s what friends are for, right?” He could tell that Aziraphale wanted to say something else, but what? That he didn’t know. He didn’t press it and tightens his grip around his friend into a loving embrace. “How about a piece of pie, Angel?”   
  


“Oh - I had almost forgotten about the pie! Yes, of course. Please, my dear.” 

“As you wish, Angel.” He places a kiss into Aziraphale’s blonde curls before leaving the sofa to get them each a piece of apple pie.   
  


* * *

Gabriel watches the redhead leave the room as rain pours down on him. He let out a snarl before walking away, thinking and waiting until Aziraphale would be alone again. He had a plan, and it was fool proof... if that annoying man wasn’t in the way. 


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was half asleep while writing this, so I’ll come back and fix my mistakes. I do hope you enjoy otherwise.

The day after Thanksgiving was a normal day for Anthony Crowley. He went to his classes but didn’t see Aziraphale anywhere in the halls. It wasn’t uncommon since the university was so vast. That didn’t mean he wasn’t any less worried. It was only the beginning of the day, so he assumed that his friend might have stayed home with the hangover he knew was bound to happen from all of that wine that he consumed the night before. He told himself that Aziraphale would show up late and pushed on through his classes. If he didn’t, Crowley would stop by at the end of the day to check on him, and that’s exactly what he did. His last class was at 4:30 P.M and arrived at the flat at 5:30 P.M with a few things that he was sure that would help with the annoying hangover. 

Crowley looks down at his snakeskin boots as he makes his way down the hallway to his friends flat, not even noticing his door was ajar until he reached up to knock. He couldn’t see much through the small crack since it was dark inside. It seemed there was a faint glow coming from the television that was only putting out static and white noise. He stands there for a moment, trying to process what was going on with his fist still in the air. _Perhaps he forgot to shut the door all the way?_ He presses his palm against the door and slowly pushes it open. “Aziraphale?” The whole flat was trashed. Broken glass, books and debris clutter the floor. He slowly steps inside, a piece of glass crunches underneath his boot. There was furniture turned upside down, ripped and torn almost as if an animal had gotten ahold of it. “Angel! Where the bloody hell are you?” There was no answer. He finally looks away from the mess and made his way further into the flat, checking the bedroom first. It was empty and in much better shape than the rest of the flat. He quickly moved to the bathroom. Empty. Next was the kitchen. Empty. His anxiety skyrocketed as she pulls out his phone and dials a number from his speed dial. It only took two rings before it connected.   
  


“Aziraphale is gone. His apartment is trashed,” He kicks a piece of glass angrily and watched it bounce off of the wall. ”I thought he was in prison. You _promised_ me this wouldn't happen. He begged me to go home last night, saying that he would be fine. _This is not fine.”_ he silently made a promise to himself that if he got his best friend back, that he would never let him out of his sight again. No matter the fuss he up. 

”You’re right. It _is_ Gabriel and I know where they are. I need you to come get me. We will find him together. Gabriel is quite stupid, honestly.” A female voice replies calmly. 

”I can't promise you that he will come back alive, Patricia.” He sat on the broken sofa where he cuddled up to his best friend only hours before, fighting back tears. ”I just can't. He will never stop, will he?” His voice cracks from the question, praying she didn't notice. ”Someone needs to do something.”

”Don’t worry. _We_ will.” The line went dead and he removes the phone from his ear, looking at it like it had burnt his ear before placing it in his pocket once more, standing to leave the flat and shut the door behind him. 

* * *

Aziraphale woke with a groan, rolling over and almost off of the bed if it wasn't for an extra body stopping him. Not thinking much of it, he wraps his arms around the warm body, pressing his forehead against the equally warm back. He didn't remember much from the night before. He didn't even know that Crowley had stayed the night. 

”Good Morning, Sunshine.” 

His eyes quickly open as his body stiffens, moving away in a haste. 

“Oh, what’s the matter? I thought you had fun last night. You were practically begging me for it. For _me_. Who knew you could be such a little demon in the sheets when you’re drunk off your ass.” Gabriel rolls over and flashes him a smug grin.   
  


“Y - Yo - You’re not meant to be here. You were sent to prison. You’re meant to be in _prison_.” He backs away even more until he fell off the bed, scrambling back on the floor until his back hit the wall.

Gabriel didn’t move and just watches him with a raised brow. “Oh, Sunshine.” He rolls completely over to his side, placing his hands under his head. “You know nothing can keep me from you. _I love you_.” The last three words were spoke with so much venom and hate as he sets up quickly with a sigh, swinging his legs over the bed and slowly made his way over to Aziraphale. “I am very disappointed in you. You _killed_ our child!”

”It was you! If you wouldn’t have slapped me, or kicked me in the stomach...” Aziraphale replies as Gabriel quickly advances on him. Slapping, pulling, taking. It was hours before Gabriel released him, letting his broken and battered body slump to the ground. He groans before everything went black.

* * *

”Alright. Where is he?” Crowley looks to the woman that was sitting in the passenger seat. “You said you knew where he is, so I need to know where I’m going.. it’s only fair.”   
  


“There is a summer house in South Downs that I and Mr. Fell once owned before we gave it to Azira for his eighteenth birthday. He was meant to live there, but he decided living in the city would be easier to get around the campus.” She replied calmly.   
  


“So you’re telling me; if he decided to stay there with that wanker he would more likely be dead?” His single grip around the wheel tightens. 

“Afraid so. I - We - didn’t think Gabriel was capable of something like this.. he was such a good child growing up..” Her words trailed off as she looks out the window. “I assume Aziraphale has explained everything to you.” 

“I - Uh - Well yeah. Don’t worry. Your secret is safe. Just like his will always be. I just wish that _he_ will be safe.” He sighs and runs his fingers though his hair.

”He will be soon enough.” She replied flatly, meaning every word. “We should be there soon enough.”

Even though she couldn’t see, he silently nods as he began to pass multiple cars that were in his way, police on his tail. Patricia Fell was a very smart woman indeed.   
  


* * *

Luckily, Gabriel had left him alone for the remainder of the night once he finally woke up. He was sore, and could barely move. But he managed to make it into a standing position. The sun was setting as he watched from the bedroom window, standing alone with his arms crossed over his chest. The coloring was almost relaxing and peaceful. It reminded him of the fall nights that he and Crowley would spend together as small children, running around in the rain when it was nearly freezing weather. It was a small miracle that they never got sick from it. It was useless to think he could be saved this time. No one would notice he was missing and if they did, they would never find him here. Not many people knew about his summer home. He sighs and rubs his bicep as if he had a chill, which he did and moves back to the bed, wrapping himself in the warm quilt that his mother had made some years ago. He was quickly drifting off to sleep, not even noticing the cars that were parked outside, or the front door being kicked in. He slips into a deep sleep with the voice of his best friend calling out for him. 


	6. Chapter 6

The bedroom door opens quickly, bouncing off of the wall behind it with a loud _bang_ as Crowley steps inside, frantically looking around the room before spotting a lump in the middle of the bed. He couldn’t tell if it was Aziraphale or bundled up blankets that were meant to be in the shape of a body. Perhaps he wasn’t even here and Gabriel had taken him away once more since he was nowhere to be found in the house. The police were searching the area as he stood there, not moving as his eyes staying in that one area, looking at the lump. He let out a breath that he didn’t realize he was holding when he saw the blanket move as if someone was taking a breath. Although it looked at if that someone was having trouble breathing. “An - Aziraphale?”

He holds out a hand as he slowly moves closer, not knowing who or what was underneath the blanket. It could have been Gabriel for all he knew, about to pounce on him at any given moment. “Zira?” He tried once more as his hand touched the blanket where the entity’s thigh would be. It was firm, round and _soft._ He let out a relieved sigh and removes the blanket from the top of the bed, unhurried once he felt how soft and _warm_ the familiar thigh was. blonde matted curls that were stained with red slowly come into view as he continues to move the blanket down. 

Aziraphale’s eyes were closed, but he was _breathing._ Crowley lets out a strangled sob from the pure relief to know that his friend was still alive as he pulls him into his arms and lap, subconsciously rocking side to side as he places kisses all over his cheeks, neck, and forehead. He wasn't going to let him go anytime soon, or if ever.   
  


A soft, muffled groan releases into the air as the man in his arms began to wake, his grip becomes slightly tighter. It's a wonder how he didn't suffocate his poor, dear friend since his face was buried into his chest.   
  


“C - Can’t breath...” Aziraphale struggles to get out of the hold, kicking and waving his arms, thanking Gabriel had finally gotten tired of him and decided to end it.   
  


“S - Shit. Sorry, Angel.” Crowley loosens his grip, but kept his hold on his friend so he wouldn’t just fall to the ground. 

Aziraphale becomes very still, thinking his having some kind of awful dream. Why would Crowley even be here? It’s had to be some type of sick joke. His subconscious could be a bitch at a times. _He’s not real._  
  


There was a long silence between the two of them, besides their unsteady breathing and the occasional sound of foot steps echoing through the silent home, which was more than likely at least one police officer and Patricia Fell.   
  


The redhead was the first to break the silence, moving the blonde so they could look at each other freely. “I thought I’d lost you. _Again_ , Angel.” He combs his fingers though blonde curls that were still stained with red, his own blood. “Do you remember when we were twelve and we were at your parents house alone for the weekend because they went on a business trip with mine, and how I told them that I was a few months older than you so I was trustworthy enough to watch you? What did I do, Aziraphale?”   
  


The blonde was silent for a moment, holding onto his friend for what seemed like dear life, pressing his forehead against a warm chest as the memories began to flood though him, emotions attached with them. “You saved my life, Anthony.” His voice broke at the end. 

_An accidental fire broke out in the home as the two were playing a board game in the living room. Neither of them noticing until the smoke began to seep from his bedroom, down the stairs and into the living room. If it wasn’t for Crowley, he would have been in that very same bedroom, alone and more than likely asleep._   
  


“You save _me,_ Angel. You are the one who got us out of there. You’re the one who phoned the fire department. I froze, I didn’t know what to do.” A kiss was placed in blonde curls, hugging him closer as tears began to free fall, staining his cheeks. ”I can't bare to think of losing you again, Angel. I just can't...” 

Aziraphale’s own silent tears began to fall, saturating his friend’s shirt as he clenches his fists into the material. ”Just say it, Anthony.. I've known - I know. I want to hear you say it. _Please_.” He didn't exactly _know_ until six weeks ago when they went to dinner and noticed Crowley looking at him with so much abortion that it almost made him fall out of his chair, and then Thanksgiving night confirmed that it wasn't his imagination. All of those stolen glances, ones that Crowley thought he couldn't see, but he did. 

”I - I -” Crowley hisses though his teeth as he takes in a deep breath, leaning down as he lifted the others chin with two of his fingers, his thumb softly rubbing against the soft skin of it, looking into his eyes, searching for any subtle indications he wanted to stop, but there were none, he moves closer. “I love you, Aziraphale.” Their lips brush against each other as he speaks his confession before closing the small distance between with into a slow, but very deep kiss that he has been waiting for many years.   
  


“About fucking time.” Patricia Fell said from the doorway. Neither of them noticed her stand there. The blonde pulls away, Crowley chasing after him, but is only met with air. 

“Mother!” Arms still wrapped tightly around him, shifting to look at her over Crowley’s shoulder as she steps further into the room. 

“What? Your father and I have been gambling on how long it would take, and my dear, I have won.” She giggles and steps behind the redhead to run her hands though her son's blood stained curls. “You have nothing to worry about now. He will keep you safe and Gabriel has been — detained. We shouldn’t have to worry about him anymore.” 

“Can you _promise_ me that he will leave Zira alone?” 

Patricia Fell doesn’t normally make promises that she can not keep and her silence only makes them both nervous. “I can not promise you that. I can promise that you both will be safe.” She leans down and places a kiss to her son’s temple, then another to the redhead. “Let’s get you both home..” She turns to leave and steps out of the room, not waiting for them to follow.   
  
Crowley doesn’t remove his arms from around the blonde, if anything he tightens his grip as he lifts him up and carries him out of the room. “You’re getting a bath when we get back to the flat. I’ll clean up the mess.”   
  


Aziraphale didn’t make a fuss about being carried, he didn’t even make a fuss about Crowley trying to take care of him. He softly hums, nuzzling into his chest and closes his eyes, enjoying the warmth and closeness. 


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry it took so long for an update for those who have been waiting. I know I usually do a daily update, but life happened. 
> 
> Silence by Khalid/Marshmello really describes Aziraphale’s mindset through this chapter. If you listen to it while reading, it might help you understand a little better.

Aziraphale awoke buzzing in his head. The pain caused a moan to drift into the seemingly empty room, or at least he thought it was a room and empty. He didn’t want to open his eyes yet in fear of who or what might be in the room with him, even though he knew it couldn’t possibly be Gabriel. Memories of the night before came back to in quick flashes and shifted the buzzing into a high pitched ring, causing more pain behind his temple. With a shaky hand, he reaches up and rubs the sore area with two of his fingers as he sat up in the bed, his eyes still closed as his legs swing over the the softness of the mattress. He reaches up and palms away the sleep from his eyes with a yawn, instantly regretting it. A hand reaches up to softly rub his bruised jaw.   
  


A groan escapes. _I - I didn’t do that..._ His eyes quickly open, and instantly regretted that too. The newly raised sun shines though a slit in the curtains of his bedroom. His eyes strain to remain open from the annoyingly bright light as he looks around the room, trying to pinpoint where the groan had come from. It was odd, he couldn't see anyone standing in front or around him. _I'm going mad.. It was bound to happen eventually._ A sigh leaves his lungs he runs a hand over his face, still trying to wake up. _I need caffeine._

He got up to shut the curtains all way before making his way around the bed. Perhaps it was because he was lost in thought or just didn't care or pay much attention to notice the noticeable lump in his bed as he walked out of the room and into the kitchen to make a cup of coffee. The kitchen and the rest of his flat wasn’t much better. Light from the sun shines though every available window in his flat and he annoyingly groans as he weren’t though the flat, closing all of the curtains. His head was still throbbing and light was the last thing he wanted.   
  


The coffee didn’t take long to make once he made it onto the kitchen. It never did. He reaches for a cup, noticing there was no pull of a shirt lifting up as he strained to reach and finally looks down. Not only was he missing his shirt, but his pants were missing as well. _Where are my clothes?!_

Perhaps he should be worried, not knowing what happened to your clothing usually sets a few red flags flying. But he wasn't worried. He was in his flat. Alone. It's not like anyone would see - He jumps, almost dropping his coffee cup from a sudden voice ripped through the silence. 

”Nice view, Angel. I could get used to this..” Crowley slowly approaches and presses himself against Aziraphale’s exposed backside. 

Aziraphale discovered that he could feel the redhead’s own warm flesh against his. He reaches for his temple, gently kneading it as more memories flood through him in quick flashes. He remembers arriving back to his flat with Crowley after departing from Eden Cottage, the redhead maintaining his promise on the bath and he even joined to help wash and spoil him, but never once touched without approval.

Another memory flashed through his mind of their limbs tangled as they nakedly held each other as the drifted off to sleep. _So.. Nothing happened? It was just a bath and then bed.. Right?_ He wasn't sure if he should feel relieved or disappointed. It was a mixture of both as he turns in the redhead's arms to face him, offering him a soft smile while his arms wrap around a slender neck. Even smiling hurt, and that caused it to falter for a moment. 

”Is everything alright, Angel?” Crowley notices his smiles hesitancy and raises a brow, pulling back just enough to look down at him. 

Aziraphale removes his arms from the redhead’s neck, but maintains their closeness by keeping their torso’s pressed against each other. He didn't look up and kept his eyes downcast the other's chest, absentmindedly playing with the soft fuzz that covered it. ”Now it is - we.. Didn't do anything last night, right?” He finally glanced up, looking into the golden eyes that were examining his characteristics. 

Crowley, for one, wasn't sure how he should answer this. He wanted to answer truthfully, and so he did. ”No, Angel. We didn't do anything. I can see how you came to that conclusion, ” he points at their nudity. ”Waking up naked and all. You were just so tired last night that you didn't want me to bother with helping you dress and you wouldn't let me leave you're side so I could. Not that I mind..” Awkwardness settled in the pit of his stomach as his cheeks turn a beautiful shade of pink. ”I - I'm sorry. I wasn't thinking clearly. Perhaps I was -”

A hand reaches up to stop his rambling. ”Crowley, it's quite alright. Really. I must say that I'm very lucky to have you in my life. I have always been lucky to have you. I shouldn't have been that stupid to not notice how you felt for me. I've hurt you so badly. I know I have.” Aziraphale leaves his arms and proceeded to pace the small confines of the kitchen. ”I shouldn't have maintained a relationship with Gabriel. I should have just left him on the second date, but no. My mind kept telling me that you didn't want -” 

”Angel.. You don't have to -” 

”Crowley, Please...” He begged, moving closer to the redhead once more and places a hand on his bicep. ”This has nothing to do with what Gabriel has done to me. It has everything to do with what I have done to _you_. I should have talked to you. I should have done a lot of things, but not talking to you is one of my biggest regrets.”

Crowley remained silent for a moment as moves away, walking down the hallway to the bedroom. ”Let’s get dressed, Angel. We'll talk more over breakfast. Patricia said you can take a few more weeks away from classes, so we'll have plenty of time to talk about what has been bothering you. No rush.” 

Aziraphale silently follows, looking down at his feet as he passes Crowley in the hallway. 

* * *

Crowley holds open the glass door for the blonde of a small diner. He looks around the nearly empty area as he steps in behind him. It might have been from pure luck or a small miracle, if Crowley believed in any type of religion, That was more of Aziraphale’s department. Neither of them had uttered a word since they left the flat. Not even a noise or a clearing of a throat. It was only pure silence as they walked the distance. It wasn't terribly far, but it wasn't that close either.

Aziraphale’s expression was indistinct while they were being led to a small booth in the back of the room by a small waitress that looked no more than eighteen. If they both were in a better mood, they might have even thought she was a sweet girl, but neither of them felt very ‘sweet’ at the moment. 

“What can I get you two gentleman to drink this morning?” She grabs her notepad and pin from her pocket, clicking the pin as she looks down at the paper, ready to write. 

”Coffee, black.” The redhead answered flatly, looking down at the table, picking at a napkin.   
  


“Just water. Please.” The blonde wasn’t any better, he was picking at his cardigan sweater nervously, keeping his eyes downwards. 

Once she was able to get a good look at him, she could see bruises across his face. Luckily she wasn’t one to be nosy and walked off with their drink orders. 

Neither of them spoke in the time that she returned with the drinks and menus. Aziraphale politely declined one and handed it back to her. “Just the water will be fine. Thank you.” He was having a hard time trying to keep his emotions under control. He could sense that Crowley was mad at him, feeling it soon as he opened his mouth back at the flat. But why now? Has he really been holding a grudge this whole time? If so, why did he seem so casual the first time they met again? _You’re letting yourself overthink again, you old fool._ He scolded himself as he subconsciously shifted the water on the table, not noticing Crowley’s frown once he declined the menu even though he didn’t order anything as well.   
  


The silence was becoming heavy between the two of them as the few people that were actually there idly chatted. The silence was broken once someone shouted out the blondes name. He didn’t even notice until it was shouted a second time which caused his head to quickly yank up, searching for the person that had been yelling for him. His eyes become wide and he shrinks down into the booth as a woman began to approach them. _What is she doing here?_

”Azira! So nice to see you!”   
  


”Hey, Nan. What brings you to this side of London?” Aziraphale was trying to be polite as possible as he spoke to his grandmother. They didn't see eye to eye on a lot of things, but she was still his grandmother. His mother would be furious if he was rude to her parents. She didn't like the thought of having a grandson, so he tried to stay away the best he could. Not to mention his choice in men.   
  


”Hullo, Eleanor.” Crowley offers a faked half smile, waving with his fingers. 

”Anthony Crowley, is that you?” Eleanor Charleston beamed as she slipped into the seat next to the redhead. ”How have you been, my dear?” She might have disapproved of her grandson's choice in men, but she did like his childhood best friend. He was a sweet boy.   
  


”Oh. You know, dating your grandson now.”  
  


Aziraphale has been trying his best to hide his abrasions the best he could. His head quickly turns to Crowley with wide eyes. If his grandmother seen them, she didn't seem phased by them.   
  


”About fucking time!” She giggled and nudged the redhead with her shoulder.   
  


”Funny, those are the same words Patricia said.” The redhead beams at her with a sarcastic smile.   
  


”Excuse me..” Aziraphale softy excused himself and made his way to the bathroom, neither of them really noticing that he had left as they chatted about different things. He couldn't really blame them. Stumbling into the bathroom, he bangs the door again the tile as it bounced off of the wall. He holds himself up with his palms, hanging onto the sink, feeling as if he was about to vomit everywhere. His stomach was doing flips as a cold sweat coats his skin. It was clammy as he reached up to feel his forehead. He looks in the mirror and noticed that he was pale, almost the same color of his hair. There was no reason he could be feeling like this. Sure, he has been under a lot of stress lately, but he had been perfectly fine five minutes ago. He reaches into his cardigan pocket and pulls out his phone, texting Crowley quickly. 

_not feeling well, going home. See you later?  
_

He didn't even wait for a response before heading out of the diner and into the cool November air. The cold air helped him slightly relax and decided to take the long way home. 


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Used to love by Dean Lewis is a good example if Azira’s mindset though this chapter.

Aziraphale went home that morning, not really giving Gabriel a second thought. His thoughts were consumed by his best friend. Were they still friends? Did he ruin everything? Perhaps Crowley just needed space? 

A heavy sigh escapes once he plops down on the sofa. After he explained how he felt, Crowley had basically blown him off. Sure, they went to breakfast together, but neither of them said anything to each other. Azira even stopped being his happy go - lucky self.   
  


There was no use to pretend to be happy if he wasn’t. Why have defenses up when there is no need for them? He should have just kept it to himself. It seemed that everyhing was fine. Perhaps he just opened some old wounds that he shouldn’t have and Crowley just didn’t want to talk about them? 

Overthinking upset his stomach even more. What the hell was he doing? There was no place in his life for domesticated romance. He will never be happy. Not truly, even with Crowley. It was just impossible no matter how much he wanted to try. Deep in the back of his mind he knew it would never happen. That’s obviously something his friend doesn’t want if he was being so cold to him. Hm. Why is he so surprised? Everyone has been so cold to him his whole life. Why would Crowley be any different? Because he _hoped_ he would be different. _I suppose that’s what I get for putting my faith into something I shouldn’t._

“Mmpf.” One of his hands clasp over his mouth, the other around his stomach as he stands from the sofa and made his way down the narrow hallway to the bathroom, bumping into the walls. “HUUUURGGEHH!” The spattering of vomit echoes though the silent flat. He knew it was bound to happen from the way he felt. “Huurggehh.” Aziraphale couldn’t hear anything as he continues to empty the contents of his stomach, knuckles turning white as he tightly grips the porcelain.   
  


After awhile it seems everything has left his stomach, or what could. Perhaps a nice shower would help. While he was removing his clothes, his phone began to ring that was still in his cardigan pocket. It was a text from Crowley.

_I didn't even see you leave. Are you all alright? Need me to come by?_

It was odd, Crowley could say more over a text than he could to his face. It hurt, but he ignored the pain and sent a simple message back. 

_No. I’m fine. Thanks._

Aziraphale didn’t wait for a response and lays down his phone on the sink before stepping into the shower. He was so angry. After everything they’ve been though and Crowley turns cold. Perhaps he was going through his own issues and didn’t want to talk about them. It all came back to one thing. Space. He obviously needed or wanted it. So he would give him what he wanted.   
  


even though it was only ten in the morning, Aziraphale decided to curl up in bed for the rest of the day after his shower. With the way he felt physically and mentally, it seemed like the best idea to just shut out the world for a few hours. 

He lays in bed, drifting off to sleep when the door to his flat began to open.   
  


* * *

Crowley was still talking to Elenor Charleston by the time he realized Aziraphale had gone missing. It has been at least a good hour before he realized his friend was missing. Neither of them heard him excuse himself or noticed that he had left. “Where is Zira?” He asked the older female with a little worry in his tone. 

“I - well I’m not sure. He was just here a moment ago.” She replied, looking around the small diner. 

“I’ll just text him to see if he’s alright.” He picks up his phone to send a quick text. 

_I didn't even see you leave. Are you all alright? Need me to come by?  
_

it took a few minutes before he got a reply and he looks down at this phone, unlocking it to check the message.   
  
_  
No. I’m fine. Thanks._

That was an unusual reply, but he didn’t think to much of it. Gabriel was still - Detained. There was no way he would be able to get out in just a few hours time. He knew Zira would be safe.. but for how long?   
  


”I’m sorry, Elenor. I need to be somewhere. Let's catch up on Christmas.” He grabbed his phone and paid for the drinks before he made his way out of the diner. He didn't have time to wait for her reply. That woman could keep a goodbye going for hours. ”buuur.” He shivers and closed his jacket from the cool November air as he walks in the direction of Zira’s flat. It only took a few minutes since he was walking quite fast. He steps into the hallway and practically ran down it to the door and checks to see if it was locked. It was. Smart man. He reaches into his pocket and takes out the spare key that Zira gave him the night before. 

The lock clicks and he quietly pushes open the door and closes it, his back to the rest of the flat. It was dark and quite like no one had been there since that morning before they left. Dread settled at the pit of his stomach. He looks around to see if anything was out of place or broken. He couldn't forgive himself if Gabriel had taken him again. Luckily there wasn't anything out of place and he made his way further into the flat. He looks through the rooms, settling on the bedroom last. He let out a relieved breath as he saw blonde curls sticking out from the blankets. 

”Zira?” He said softly, moving closer to the bed and sat down on the empty side, placing a hand on the male's thigh to slightly wake him to let him know he was here. ”Hey, Zira.. Wake up.”   
  


He moves a little to let the Aziraphale roll over to his back. “Crowley? What are you doing here?” The blonde rubs his eyes with his palms and stretches. His voice was heavy with sleep.   
  


“What do you mean? I told you that I’d be here to keep an eye on you.” Even though he was a little upset from the morning's events, he still made a promise and those feelings quickly disappeared once he saw his friend, his _lover_ sleeping soundly in the bed they shared the night before. 

Aziraphale noticeably frowns before he rolls back to his side. _Of course. He's only here because of a promise._ ”You don't have to be here if it's not what you want, Anthony. You don't owe me anything. If anything, I'm the one who owes you.” his stomach began to act up once more and that caused him to set up in the bed with his back to the headboard.   
  


”Is this what you think this is? That I feel sorry for you? Zira, I told you how I feel last night, and that still stands. Just because...” he takes a deep breath. He needs patients and that is something he usually doesn’t have. But for, Aziraphale? He’d try his best not to snap. “Zira, Angel. Look at me. Just because I can’t get over some feelings from the past doesn’t mean I love you any less. We we’re young, about to leave high school. I don’t blame you for anything you’re my...” 

Crowley trails off as he watched Aziraphale stand from the bed. “Hey, where are you going?” Then he noticed that the blonde was quickly making his way into the bathroom and shutting the door behind him. “Angel?” He stands and makes his way to the door. 

“HUUUURGGEHH!” Is the only thing he got in any type of reply, and then the sound of vomit sputtering into the side of porcelain. He scrunches up his noise from the sound alone. “Angel, do you need anything?” He only got another ‘huurggehh’ as a reply. He sighs and places his forehead against the bathroom door, waiting until the sounds stop and was replaced with silence. “Angel? Please answer me or I’m coming in.” There was no sound, only his own heavy breathing. He waited a few more seconds before slowly opening the door.   
  


“Angel?” He shrieks once he seen the blonde slumped against the tub, obviously unconscious. “What the hell have you done?”   
  


in all honesty, Aziraphale hasn’t done anything wrong, but Crowley thinks he might have taken too many of his anxiety pills and overdosed. Without any true proof, Crowley wasn’t sure what to do. He lifts up the blonde and made his way through the flat and out the front door.   
  


* * *

Aziraphale woke to an annoying beeping sound that was to the left of him. Was it a stupid alarm that he had forgotten about? It seemed plausible. He always sets an alarm for classes and then forgets that he had set them. But it didn’t sound like his alarm. It was too slow. A groan escapes his throat as he tries to open his eyes. Everything was so blurry and even a little dark. He must have slept though the day. Another groan escapes once he tried to set up in bed, his vision becoming better by the second. He audibly swallows once the room came into view. This wasn’t his bedroom. The pastel blue walls matched nicely with the light wooden floor. He looks around the small area. He wasn’t home... he was in a hospital room. It was hard to remember anything these days. Perhaps he had checked himself in without remembering?   
  


“Angel?” Crowley came into his view, practically pouncing on him with a hug. His mother following close behind the redhead. 

“What happened? Where am I?” He croaks out, returning the warm embrace. It feels like he had been swallowing glass.   
  


“We’re not sure what happened, Azira. Crowley said he went back to your flat and you were in bed and you began to vomit and then passed out.” His mother explains. ”He seems to think you might have taken too many of your anxiety pills.” 

Crowley still hasn’t let go of him and Aziraphale welcomes the affection, keeping his arms wrapped around the redhead’s shoulders and squeaks from his mother's last statement. ”I haven't taken any today. Perhaps - Maybe I was stressed and didn't know it?” He leans his forehead against Crowley’s shoulder once he felt the beginning of a headache. 

”We know you haven't. The nurses took your blood soon as you got here. Azira -”

”We’re going to have a baby!” Crowley chimes in before his mother could finish. 

”Wha - What? But we haven't..” Aziraphale felt like he was about to vomit again from the thought alone. He couldn't carry Gabriel’s child. He still had to finish uni. He was only twenty for heavens sake! He couldn't do this... He began to hyperventilate as the start of a panic attack and backs away from Crowley, trying to get out of the bed.   
  


“Azira, please calm down.” His mother places her hands on his shoulders to steady him before pulling him into a loving hug. “You won’t be alone in this..“ Her voice lowers to a whisper as she rocks him slowly. “Think this through, Azira. Crowley — he’s already agreed to take care of it as his own, Azira. No one outside out of this room has to know any different.”   
  


Blue eyes quickly look over to the redhead and instantly soften from the sight. He looked so sheepish and his face was a soft shade of pink. It was almost like then they were children... 

Aziraphale nods into his mother’s shoulder, and began to calm down, squeezing her tighter while tears stream down his cheeks, staining them with red blotches. He feels a second pair of arms wrap around him from behind and a head resting against his back. “I meant what I said, Angel. I love you and _nothing_ can take that from me.”   
  


“If you don’t marry him soon, I’m going to be very upset.” Patricia chimes in with happy tears, pretending just for a moment that the child is indeed Crowley’s. She could be happy for just one moment.   
  


Aziraphale wasn’t sure what to do, laugh or cry, so he does a little of both. Perhaps he has finally lost it. Crowley leans them back so that the blonde’s back was against his chest, still holding him. “Get some rest, Angel. I’m not going anywhere anytime soon.” A kiss was placed on top of blonde curls and blue eyes close from the feeling, slowly drifting off to sleep. “I love you, Anthony...” 


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They attend the Christmas party and both Crowley and Aziraphale get a surprise!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I can’t believe I’ve made it to nine characters! This one is a little longer, but I hope you all enjoy the fluff, sarcasm and suspense. Thank you so much for the comments and kudos! They give me motivation to continue writing this! Thank you!

_Wednesday, December 25, 2019_

It’s been a few weeks since Aziraphale was discharged from the hospital and his sickness hasn't been very helpful. He can't keep anything down. Not even water most of the time, and in all honesty, he wishes that it would just disappear. In the few weeks that have passed, he fell into a deep depression. It was true, he was happy that he was about to have a child of his own, but not the way this child came to be or who the father is. Even though Crowley has agreed to care for this child as his own, Aziraphale can't help but yearn for this child to actually be his. None of his family knew about any of this except his mother. They weren’t aware of Gabriel, what he has done, or the fact that a presenting male is about to have a child. A child from a complete psychopath.   
  


It was early in the morning, around six when his eyes crack open from the churning in his stomach. Crowley’s bare arm was wrapped around his exposed middle. Normally he wouldn’t mind the small endearment, but the weight of his slender arm didn’t help matters much and he wasn’t about to push him away unless he had to make a quick escape to the bathroom.   
  


Which, in this case, he might have to and he does. Aziraphale moves his boyfriend’s arm and quickly made his way to the bathroom, shutting the door quietly to not wake the sleeping redhead before losing what little stomach contents he had left. He jumps out of his skin at the sudden voice that was coming from the now open doorway of the bathroom, which in turn gave him the hiccups. 

“Are you alright, Angel?” Crowley was standing there, stark naked with his arms crossed over his chest even though he sounded genuinely worried.   
  


Aziraphale hiccups a few times before he spoke, causing the redhead to hide a smile that was creeping across his lips from how adorable it was. “N - No. I mean yes.. I’m fine, Dear. I D - Didn’t mean to wake you.” Each stutter was followed by a hiccup. 

Crowley knew the blonde hasn’t been in a playful mood lately and he couldn’t really blame him. He wouldn’t be either if roles were reversed. “It’sss Alright, Angel. It’s a shame you have the hiccups. I was going to suggest an early morning Christmas shag.” He slightly teased as he helped the blonde to his feet.

It wouldn’t be the first time they had done something like that and oddly enough, what Gabriel had done to Aziraphale didn’t really affect him emotionally. Sex was different to him now, it meant something. Crowley made sure his ‘angel’ knew that he was loved and even _worshiped_ during sex. He was so kind and gentle... 

Aziraphale clears his throat, realizing his mind has drifted into sinful thoughts and made his way back into the bedroom, sitting on his side with his legs hanging over. “Mm. Perhaps b - before we leave for the p - party. _cripes._ These h - hiccups are annoying.” 

Crowley leaves the room for a moment and that caused for blonde to frown. Had he said something wrong? A few seconds later, he returns with a cold glass of water with a lemon in it and holds it out for his boyfriend to take. ”I can't promise you that it won't make you vomit again, but it will get rid of the hiccups if you drink it quickly.” 

The blonde eyes the glass as he weighed his options. Keep the hiccups and not vomit again or vomit again and lose the hiccups. Oh hell. At this rate he’d still have the hiccups and vomit again so he takes the glass and quickly drinks all of it, leaving the lemon and some ice behind. ”Thank you, my dear.” He was quite sleepy and it probably shows as the empty glass was handed back to the redhead. 

”Get some rest, Angel. You're going to need it if we're going to tell your family.” Crowley sets the glass down in the end table before making his way back into the bed, wrapping his arm around his waist, pulling him back into the bed. 

”I’d rather we didn't.. But we can't hide it forever.” Aziraphale was on the verge of sleep as he slowly spoke. ”Thank you, Anthony. For ev - every -” He had fallen asleep in mid-sentence with his lovers arms still wrapped around him. 

”Goodnight, angel.” He whispered softly before falling asleep himself. 

* * *

It was ten o’ five by the time Crowley woke up from the sound of his boyfriend vomiting again. He was quite lucky that he wasn't a sympathy vomiter. Really lucky. He thanks the stars before making his way into the bathroom for the fifth time in the last twenty four hours. No matter what they tried, the morning sickness wouldn't go away. 

”Angel, ” He stops in the doorway, taking in the sight of his lover. He was already dressed in an ugly Christmas sweater that Crowley had given him at their last Christmas party together. It was wool, red and had a sewn on Christmas tree on the front of it. He honestly thought it would have been thrown out by now. ”I think we should cancel this whole thing with your family.” 

Aziraphale shakes his head, holding himself up with his palm tightly griping his thigh while he wipes his mouth with the back of his other hand, trying to catch his breath. ”No we can't. Your family is going to be there as well.” 

Crowley’s face becomes pale, his amber eyes become wide from the sudden realization that he is about to see the family - his family that he has been trying to avoid for the last three years. ”M - My what? No, _No._ why didn't you tell me, Aziraphale? We're definitely not going now. No. That's final.” 

”It was mothers idea...” The blonde fought back the bile that was reaching the back of his throat with a shake of his head, it wasn't working and he retched into the porcelain once more, his knuckles turning white as he held onto the sides. ”I still have to go, no matter if I can't see straight half of the -” He heaved once more. ”Time.” he spits into the porcelain. ”You don't have to go, but it will seem suspicious if I announce that I’m with your child and you’re not there.”

”Rrru! You’re a sadist, I swear.” Even though he was quite nervous and frustrated, his lips curl at the ends.   
  


”It wasn’t my idea to -“ The blonde stops for a moment, trying not to literally lose his cookies again. “Can we please talk about this when I’m not -“ Once again, it wasn’t worth the effort to prevent the inevitable, and he lost even more of his stomach contents.   
  


“Right! Right sorry.” He felt empathy for the other. He really did, even though he really hope it wasn’t this bad for him when they had their own child. He expressed his thought and a frantic ‘What?!’ Was released in between the sounds of vomiting. He couldn’t help laugh as he made his way into the bedroom to get ready for the Christmas party that he obviously had to attend.   
  


* * *

“You know, most people call this kidnapping.” Crowley stands in the yard with his boyfriend at his side that was holding a dish that he had made for the occasion and hands it to the redhead, the smell alone made him his face become pale. They look at the enormous house that occupied the Fell family and apparently the Crowley family as well, as the redhead lets out an exasperated sigh. ”Look, I'm sorry for anything they say in advance, Angel. You know -”  
  


”Yes, I'm well aware of how they can be.” Aziraphale waves a hand in the air dismissively. He really didn't have the patience for this today. ”Well, perhaps I should apologize for what I might say in advance as well, Sorry.” He really didn't care for Crowley’s family and they returned the endearment, well there lack of, equally. 

”That really is creepy how we do that to each other.” The redhead looks over to his boyfriend, watching him knock on the door. ”Finish each other's thoughts, I mean.” 

”We've done it since we were children, Dear. This surprises you _now_?”   
  


There was a nonchalant shrug given in responses as the door opens. They both frown.   
  
“Hello, Michael.” Aziraphale greeted his older brother with a soft, forced smile.   
  


“Oh look, it’s the disappointment and his -“ A food dish was shoved into his hands before he could finish, Crowley takes the blondes hand and pushes past Michael. 

“Thank you, dear.” He whispers into the redheads ear as they walk further into the enormous home.   
  


Luckily, neither of them had spotted Crowley’s family yet. They tried to keep to themselves, talking amongst each other, trying to avoid people the best they could. A few hours pass like this, idol chit chat. Crowley trying to remember some of the names of Aziraphale’s extended family was there. They sat on one of the sofa’s in the sitting room that held the least amount of people. The blonde was sipping on a cup of cocoa while the redhead enjoyed a cup of tea. He offered to swear off alcohol until his boyfriend was able to drink again and that in itself made Aziraphale’s heart swell inside of his chest. Everything was going rather well until Crowley’s sister walks into the room, chatting with Michael. “Oh look, it’s the -“   
  


Crowley crossed the room in under a second and stood right in front of Michael, noises almost touching as he clenches his jaw. “I suggest you keep to yourself the rest of the night if you want to keep your teeth. Aziraphale is not a disappoint. No matter how many times you say it, it doesn’t make it true. Understand?”   
  


Michale doesn’t say anything, but swallows with a nod and backs out of the room.   
  


“Where did he go?” Bea, or rather Beattie (no one would ever call her that if they wanted to keep their liver intact.) points in the direction of where Aziraphale was sitting. 

Crowley turns around on his heals, spotting an empty sofa seat and a warm mug of cocoa on the table. “Fuck.”   
  


* * *

Being friends from, well basically the beginning was a nice advantage to have for Crowley. He knew this house well enough. He spent most of his time here as a child and even more in his teen years. He made his way to the nearest downstairs bathroom. He didn’t even have to knock to know Aziraphale was in there from the sounds that were coming from inside. “Angel,” He knocks and leans against the bathroom door. “Are you alright? You were doing so well.”   
  


“I drank something. Heaven forbid my body actually lets me consume something.” The blonde replied almost sarcastically, his voice muffled by the wood door. This was becoming taxing for him.   
  


“Anthony!” His eyes become wide from the recognizable voice that came from behind him. He rests his forehead on the door, letting out a sigh. “Be right back, Angel.” A gargling noise is the only thing he received as a response.   
  


Crowley turns to face his _mother,_ or for the lack of. granted she gave birth to him, yes, but she was far from a maternal woman. _She devil_ he used to call her. “What do you want, _mother_?”   
  


Rosalie Crowley frowns mockingly, “I only wanted to see my son that has been avoiding me for three years.” Her arms cross over her chest. 

“I told you three years ago that I have nothing to say to you.” He almost fell backwards once the bathroom door suddenly opened. Thankfully, he had a literal angel to catch him before he made it to far. Even though it caused him to stumble backwards a few steps. 

“Azira?” Rosalie raised a brow and tilted her head in slight confusion.   
  


“Hello, Rose.” The blonde croaks out, righting his boyfriend to his feet. His throat was sore from all of that stomach acid coming up. It’s amazing he could still speak really. He really didn’t have a moment to breath before Crowley was on him, asking if he was alright with a hand placed firmly over his middle, his other had holds him up by pressing against the small of his back. ”I’m fine, Dear.”   
  


“So Patricia was telling the truth, I’m going to be a grandmother?” Rosalie leans against the nearest wall nonchalantly.   
  


“ _What_?” They both said in unison. It was oddly creepy, just like how they finished each other’s thoughts and sentences.   
  


“Excuse me,” Aziraphale quickly turns back into the bathroom and shuts the door. 

“No one was meant to know about that. We, Zira and I were going to tell everyone over dinner... I guess that’s out.” 

“Oh, She hasn’t told anyone but me. Your secret is safe with me.”   
  


There was one thing about Rosalie Crowley that made her a decent person. She was a great friend, but a horrible mother. Anthony needed a _mother_ , not a friend growing up. Perhaps that another reason he spent most of his life with the fell’s.   
  


“Thank you.” He said before ducking into the bathroom with his boyfriend. This was going to be a long night... 

* * *

Aziraphale and Crowley set at the rather large table with both of their family members around them. Some were standing, still chatting about nothing at all as other ate the dinner that was provided for them.   
  


The blonde pushes his untouched plate away from him. His face was becoming very pale from the smell alone. Thankfully, he didn’t have anything left in his stomach to disperse of. He kept his hands in his lap, keeping quite while the chatter around him continues. 

Crowley glances over at him once he seen that his plate was pushed away and leans over to whisper in his ear, “You haven’t eaten anything in days, love. You need to at least try to eat something.” The blonde shakes his head and looks down at his hands in his lap. “It will get better. Promise.” He leans over and places a kiss on his forehead.   
  


“Are you alright, Azira?” Michale asked from across the table. “You look pale.”   
  


Blonde curls shake as a silent nod was given, looking over to Crowley for some help. Luckily, he noticed. “Yeah, he just hasn’t been feeling very well lately.” He answered for the blonde.   
  


Aziraphale leans over to whisper in Crowley ear, “We need to tell them. Now.” He places a hand on his boyfriend’s bicep, giving it a little reassuring squeeze. 

“Yeah,” The redhead cleared his throat and nods. “Sure. Okay.” He got to his feet and taps his glass to get everyone’s attention and clears his throat once more while looking down at _the love of his fucking life._

“Sorry for the interruption everyone,” He nervously clears his throat one last time before looking around the room as he takes out a small black box from his breast pocket and moves his chair out of the way, bending down on one knee and opens the box. “Aziraphale Zachary Fell, I’ve been wanting to do this since freshman year. Will you marry me?”   
  


Aziraphale looks at him stunned, the rest of the guests were equally flabbergasted as the blonde. Michael drops his fork with his jaw practically to the table, his mother smiles fondly at them, his father doesn’t seem to notice, or care really, and everyone else seems to stop breathing. Rosalie and the rest of Crowley’s family had left hours ago, Bea was the only one left and she was currently standing next to Michale.   
  


Normally, Aziraphale would be overwhelmed and thought all of this was moving to quickly, but he has known the man down on one knee with an engagement ring in his hand for his whole life. In his mind, it wasn’t soon enough. All past thoughts of Crowley being here against his will and of Gabriel faded as he answered. “Yes! Oh god, Yes!” He finally croaks out and leans down to press there lips together in a sweet kiss.   
  


“I’m going to be a dad and a husband! Who knew?!” Crowley cheers, happily laughing as he stands and places the ring on his _fiancé’s_ finger.   
  


Aziraphale’s father faints from the comment and a few people laugh as they watch a short, pudgy, balding man fall to the floor. Crowley and Aziraphale included. 

“Oh, Sam!” Patricia quickly bends down and fans a rag over him, laughing. 

“Wait so you’re -“ Michael points to Aziraphale’s middle. The blonde slowly nods and leans back in his seat, waiting for the horrible comments. “I’m going to be an uncle?!” He genuinely sounded — happy. That was odd for Michael.   
  


Bea was rather quite through all of it. She wasn’t entirely convinced that the child was indeed her brothers. She knew him well enough to know he hasn’t slept with the pudgy blonde before and highly doubted that it happened recently. She would keep her comments to herself until the information was useful to her. She liked to play dirty after all. 

What the black haired woman didn’t know, is that they have in fact consummated their relationship — more than once.   
  


* * *

After opening gifts and attempting to drink one last cup of his mother’s cocoa, Aziraphale and his fiancé said their goodbyes and accepted all of the congratulations before heading back to Aziraphale’s flat. Miraculously, the blonde made it all the way back to the flat without needing to vomit. They both were a little excited about that.

“Perhaps you’ve finally gotten over -“ Aziraphale cuts off his fiancé with a kiss, pressing him against the wall beside the door. Crowley kicks the door closed with his heal with a smirk across his lips and backs the blonde in the direction of the bedroom.   
  


They both stop once Crowley steps down and the sound of something crunching under his boot. It sounded like broken glass...   
  


The redhead reluctantly lets go of the blonde and reaches over to flip on the hall light. He raised a brow once his suspension was confirmed and bends down to inspect the damage. There were at least three picture frames that were broken, all with pictures of Aziraphale with Crowley. Two were from when they were younger and one that was very recent. ”Stay close behind me.” He whispers as he pushes the blonde behind him, feeling hands tightly gripping the back of his shirt as they made their way further down the hallway.   
  


It was somewhat of a tradition for Crowley to get Aziraphale a snow globe each year for Christmas. He had over fifteen of them and each one of them were laid out in the hallway in a trail of sorts that led to the bedroom, each one of them broken. They both peak around the corner and let out a relieved breath once they were met with an empty room.   
  


“We can’t stay here, Angel..” The redhead turns to face the blonde. 

”I - couldn’t agree more. Perhaps if we move - wait! My classes...” He was planning to return to them once the holidays were over, but it seems that he really has no choice. He really does have to give them up now. 

“Maybe when the baby is born you can find a local collage and resume your classes then. But that’s only if you really want to. You know that neither of really need a career. Neither of us are exactly hurting financially.” 

“I know..” He couldn’t help but let out a frustrated huff.

Gabriel had literally ruined his dream, but not his life. Truth be told, he couldn’t be happier. He’s engaged to his best friend, he’s carrying ‘his’ baby and now they’re looking for a new home.   
  


After cleaning up the broken glass, Crowley and Aziraphale sit on the sofa, browsing for nearby homes for sale on the redhead’s laptop. It was close to midnight once the blonde laid his head on his fiancé’s shoulder, still looking though the homes as he fell asleep. 


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Someone from Crowley’s past comes back to haunt him. Aziraphale isn’t sure how to feel about this new information that has been given to him.

They did it. Granted that it took them five months to find a small cottage in South Downs, but they did it nonetheless.   
  


Aziraphale was standing in the middle of the kitchen lost in his thoughts, taking a small break once Crowley came in huffing. The blonde had his back turned to the rest of the world. He didn’t even hear his lover, nor his huffing. 

“Last one, Angel.” Crowley let the box fall to his feet, which in turn caused his lover to nearly jump out of his skin from the loud sound. “Wow - hey, Angel. Are you alright?”   
  


The blonde doesn’t answer right away and offers his lover a small smile. Physically, He was perfectly fine. Better than fine. Even though he has gained thirteen stones over the course of five months, and his stomach was now firmer and round, he felt fine even with the small aches that came with the change.

“Yea - Yes. I’m fine, dear. I just wasn’t expecting the sudden noise. Must have been lost in thought.” He leans over the counter and places a kiss to his lover's cheek. “Take a break. I’ll start unpacking things. Why don’t you take a nice relaxing bath while I do that, hm?” 

Even though he knew his lover could see right through his lies, he was so very grateful once there was a nonchalant roll of his shoulders before the redhead's head off into the direction of the bathroom and he let out a relieved sigh.   
  


Truth be told, Aziraphale was far from alright. He revived a phone call from an unknown number on his own cell phone while Crowley was unloading the moving truck. He didn’t recognize the voice, and he wasn’t sure if it was considered a good thing or not.

_”Crowley?” The voice on the other end chimes through. It was a males voice, somewhat sweet, but he seemed a little distressed, to say the least. It took a few seconds for the blonde to find his voice. He wasn’t sure how much he should explain to this stranger._

_“N - No. My name is Aziraphale.” He finally replied.  
  
_

_“Aziraphale? Do you mean Zira? THE Zira?” The voice replied, a little less frantic._

_“I - I’m not sure what you mean.” There was only one person that called him that, and that was Crowley. Not even Gabriel called him that, not his parents, nor his friends.  
  
_

_“Do - you KNOW Crowley?” The voice was a little deeper.  
  
_

_Aziraphale looks around the empty cottage and places a hand on his lower back for support, his stomach sticking out just a little more. “You can say that, yes. I’ve known him since we were children. But if you wish to speak to him, I’m afraid you can’t. I haven’t seen him in three years.” He lied.  
_

_“Oh.. what a shame. Well, If you do happen to see him, please tell him that his boyfriend, Zane is looking for him.”  
_

_Aziraphale didn’t have a chance to reply before the line went dead, looking at the phone in disbelief. So many thoughts race through his mind as he set his phone on the counter. This could all be a ruse, but the man seemed to know so much without giving that much information.  
_

Now, here in the present, Aziraphale felt as if he could vomit. He hasn’t done that for a few months now, but he was almost certain that was about to change. He couldn’t run to the bathroom because Crowley was currently taking his bath. Why did he have to be so stupid? Making a the last-minute decision, he leans over the kitchen sink and lost the lunch that he and Crowley shared before they starting moving things. How could Crowley do something like this to him? Why would he stay this long if he already had someone waiting? Did he just think it was some type of joke? His love, kindness and affection shouldn’t be treated like a joke. 

”Zira?”   
  


Aziraphale was so lost in his thoughts as he coughed into the stainless steal that he didn’t hear his lover call out for him. A hand wipes the back of his mouth as he reaches his full hight, and quickly runs water to clean out the sink.   
  


“Zira?” Aziraphale finally turns around and is face to face with his lover, nothing covering him but a towel wrapped around his hips. His short red hair damp from the bath, water slides down his exposed skin. 

The blonde jumps from the sudden closeness and tries to lean against the counter in a nonchalant manner.   
  


“Hello, Dear. How was your bath?” 

“Zira, are you alright? You haven’t gotten sick in months.” 

_Shit.  
_

How long has he been standing there? It would probably be useless to lie, but he could sure as hell try. He wasn’t ready for this conversation. 

No, he couldn't lie. It would only make things worse. Perhaps this was all just a misunderstanding, and Zane was just someone from the three years they didn't speak to each other. Reasonable explanation. It had to be. Crowley would never do something like this. Would he? 

”Who is Zane?” He finally croaks out after a long silence. 

Crowley's eyes become wide from the mention of the other man's name, but doesn't reply as he takes a step back. 

”Please,” The blonde pushes himself off of the counter, moving away from his lover. “Don’t lie to me.” 

There was a long silence between them, longer than it should have been as they look at each other. His Patience was growing thin as he waited for a response. A lie, anything, but nothing came.   
  


”Fine,” Even though it was in the middle of May and warm, without another word, Aziraphale grabs his jacket and leaves the small cottage, slamming the door behind him. 

* * *

A week has passed since their fight in the cottage that was meant to be their new home. A week without a word from Crowley. It's not like he really reached out either, but he wasn't in the wrong here, or at least he didn't think so.   
  


Aziraphale had taken a bus back to Soho and instead of going straight back to his mothers, he decided to walk around, visiting old places where he and Crowley had occupied over the time of their friendship and even some of them where they had their first real date. 

Now, he sits in the kitchen of his childhood home, sipping tea, and reading a newspaper while his parents are away on vacation. He didn't let them know he was there until the second day, and he didn't even tell them much about the fight. Just that he needed some space. They, of course, told him to start long as he needed since they would be out of London for at least a few months, but that he should call his mother if he needed anything or when the baby was on the way.

Now sitting alone in the kitchen, make him feel very.. Alone. Even though he knew he really wasn't. The baby made its presence known by kicking him in the bladder every now and again, and was constantly moving at that. It was almost as if the child could sense his distress and anxiety. 

Aziraphale almost falls out of his chair once his phone starting to ring, breaking the silence. He doesn't check the ID before answering it. 

”Hello?” He sounded exhausted; his voice cracked and weak. 

”Zira?” That... Wasn't Crowley's voice. Subconsciously, he reaches down and rubs a soft hand over his firm abdomen.

”Zane? Is that you? How did you get this number in the first place? I've told you that I haven't seen him in -” 

”Oh, I know for a fact that you've seen him recently, about a week ago? It seems that you have some really heavy baggage, Aziraphale. Well, with that ex of yours.” 

”- What do you want? If you know that I haven't seen him in a week, then why are you calling me? How do you know all of this?” 

”Oh, Zira -”

”Don’t call me that.” 

”I know a lot about you. You're all Anthony talks about when we were together.” 

_Talks_

Present tense.

That one word made Aziraphale’s blood run cold, yet he felt like every nerve was on fire. Tears start to blur his vision as he gets up for his seat to pace around the large kitchen. 

”Why should I care who or what he does?” Aziraphale closes his eyes, letting the tears freely run down his cheeks. ”It’s not like we're engaged or anything.” 

There was a long silence, the blonde almost thought the other man hung up on him. It was unnerving until he nearly falls over from the sudden voice that comes through the phone once more. 

”But aren't you?” Zane’s voice was deep, almost sinister as he spoke those words. They were so venomous.

”No, No we're not... Enjoy your life with him, Zane.”

Now it was his turn to hang up on the male. He disconnected the call before throwing his phone against the nearest wall, shattering it into a million pieces. Sobs escape as his body jerks right along with them as he makes his way down to the floor. He felt as if he could be sick again. Luckily, it was just a feeling. After a while, he cries himself to sleep, laying on the kitchen floor with his knees to his chest, well the best he could manage anyway. 

* * *

Another week passes. Still no word from Crowley. He wasn't surprised since he changed his number once he bought a new phone to replace the one he shattered. At least he wouldn't have to worry about Zane calling him anymore. He was still quite upset about all of this, but he does wish them all the best. 

Aziraphale still hasn't removed the engagement ring from his finger; he's currently shifting it around with his thumb as he looks out at the empty garden through the kitchen window, watching the mid-may rain fall. It was peaceful and relaxing. 

"Argh,” He almost drops his teacup once an exemplary kick was given to the spot right underneath his ribs and he sets it aside. A hand reaches up to support him against the window seal. ”You really must stop doing that, my dear. I know things are getting - ah - cramped.” His free hand moves to sooth his now sore side. 

A knock echoed through the empty home, causing him to lunge in his place. He wasn't sure who would be knocking, perhaps it was one of his parent's friends that didn't know they were away, or maybe it was a package that he had to sign for. With a soft, and still rubbing his side, he pads his way to the door and opens it rather quickly. He squeaks and quickly slams the door in the unsuspecting person's face.   
  


”What are _you_ doing here? Go away.” He shouted through the wood door.   
  


”You look well, Zira.” Crowley replied casually. “Well, What I could see of you anyway.” His tone changed into something somber. 

“Yes, well. You shouldn’t keep Zane waiting. Good day, Crowley.” He pushes himself off if he door and began walking back into the kitchen. 

“Zira, wait! I - Uh -“ He began to sputter before finally settling on ‘fuck.’ “Look, Zira. I want to talk, even if it doesn’t change anything between us.” He knew Aziraphale could still hear him, so he continues. “You asked me who Zane is, he’s someone I thought was out of my life for good. I’m not even sure how you know about him. I removed everything that reminded me of him from my life. Pictures, gifts, his old clothing.. you get it. Please, Zira.. Hear me out. I really haven't done anything wrong. Please trust me. I wasn't trying to hide anything. I really wasn't. I just froze that night.” Crowley leans his forehead against the door, shaking his head. ”It hasn't been the same without you, angel.”   
  


Aziraphale was quiet as he listened to his past lover. It was like he even stopped breathing for that small amount of time. He really wanted to believe Crowley, but why doesn't he? He believed a complete stranger over his best friend and lover. At that moment, he decided to listen to him. Really listen to him. Without a word, he makes the short distance to the front door and quickly swings it open, causing Crowley to fall fast first onto the hardwood floor. ”Ow..” The blonde silently laughed and assisted the redhead to his feet, but doesn't apologize. 

* * *

”So let me understand this correctly,” Aziraphale shifts in the kitchen chair, trying to find a comfortable position. ”Zane is your ex.”

”Correct.” A soft nod was given. 

”The ex that doesn't know me from Adam, and decided to call me to get back at you for the way you left things between them?” He shifts again, it seems finding a comfortable position would be impossible at this point. It felt like the baby was stuck in an awkward position, making it even more awkward for him. 

”Yes.” the redhead nodded once more, keeping his eyes on the blonde. ”Are you alright, an - Zira?” 

”Don’t try to change the subject, ” He let out a shaky, heavy sign. ”I’m fine. It makes sense, really. I just don't understand how he got my number in the first place, or how he knew so much about me. It was almost as if he was - watching me like Gabriel was.”  
  


”What type of things did he mention?”  
  
”Well, he knew that I haven't spoken to you in two weeks. Knew that we were engaged and a few other things.. Like Gabriel for one.”   
  
”He’s just trying to scare you, Aziraphale. Anyone can find any of that on public records or our social media.”  
  


”I haven't posted anything for awhile.”   
  


There was a long silence between the two of them while Crowley looks down at his hands, still sporting his own engagement ring. 

“No, but I have. I just missed you so much..” The redhead takes in a breath in between his teeth and looks at the blonde. “I didn’t think I had a chance with you, Angel. I settled for Zane, and it was a bad idea. I knew that then and I know it now.”

"Argh.” Aziraphale doubles over, holding his side and turns away from the redhead. Another painful kick to his abdomen. Perhaps it was the stress and overthinking that caused the child so much discomfort and in return caused his parent equal distress. 

“Angel? Are you alright?” Crowley was already at his side, holding him upright, trying to see what had caused him so much pain. “Is it the baby? It’s still too early for that!” At this point he was freaking out and cursing himself for putting him though this.   
  


instead of answering the redhead, Aziraphale grabs his hand and places it in the spot that he knew the child would kick again, applying a little bit of pressure.   
  


They stayed like that for five minutes before Crowley jumped once he felt the strong kick, Aziraphale slightly coiled in on himself from the sensation. “Oh! _Oh!_ Angel! They’re a strong one.”   
  


“Quite so, my ribs are bruised. It honestly takes a lot out of me and makes me tired..” 

“Come _home_ , Angel and you can rest in _our_ bed.”   
  


Aziraphale thought about it for a moment, removing his had from the redhead’s. “Alright.” A soft nod was given once he went to grab the few things he had left in his room.   
  


Crowley has never smiled so brightly as he watched his lover come back down the stairs. 


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've overcome my writer's block!! Can I get a wahoo? 
> 
> I hope this chapter isn't too much, and I’m sorry for the way it was left. It seemed fitting.

Another month passes before things become relatively normal once again between the two of them. It took them three weeks before they even started talking to each other without an awkward heaviness in the air. 

It was hard for Crowley, but it was even harder for Aziraphale. He made it seem like things were back to the way they were before and it appeared that his lover was believing it, or he was just in the same situation; tired of the awkwardness between the two of them. 

He was still angry with his lover, even though he had no right to be. It wasn't his fault that one of his exes couldn’t take the hint and leave him alone. No, Zane was definitely someone that needed to be placed in a padded locked room for the rest of his natural life. 

After Aziraphle came back home, things were okay for a while, aside from the uneasy silence that hung around them for the first few days, and he used those days to rest as his lover promised. The silence was uneasy but very welcomed. It seemed that he became easily fatigued with the simplest of tasks, not to mention the stress that was put on their relationship from one simple phone call. 

After the few weeks that lead them back to speaking terms and even touching, Crowley received a phone call of his own. It was Zane, or so he thought. It was an unknown number and anyone with common sense would easily put the two together. He didn’t answer of course. He sat at the kitchen table and folds over the paper that he was reading that morning and glares down at it as if the simple look would make it stop ringing. Thankfully, Aziraphale was still in bed and he wouldn’t have to answer any odd questions. 

His phone vibrates three more times before it finally stopped and went black. He went back to his reading as nothing happened. After a few more moments of silence, his phone vibrates one more time, letting him know there was a voicemail. It took him around five minutes of staring at it like it was about to come alive and bite him for just looking at it in an odd fashion before even thought about picking it up. 

”Row?” Crowley’s head quickly snaps up upon hearing his lover's groggy voice; he was rubbing the sleep from his eyes with the palm of his hand as he walks into the kitchen, the bottom of his extended midsection was making its appearance from under his nightshirt. Stretching apparently made it worse, causing Crowley to stiff a small laugh from the adorable sight. If he could, he’d keep Azira like this for all eternity. 

”Why are you up so early? It's three am, dear.” Aziraphale turns to make a cup of tea while he waited for a reply. He was up, which meant he would be awake to the remainder of the day until the child decided to sleep. That in itself was rare. 

”Couldn’t sleep, dove.” His eyes flick between his lover and his phone quickly before placing a hand over it and slid it under the table while the other male was making a cup of tea; His back to the red-headed male. ”Hope I didn't wake you, angel.” His tone was almost apologetic as he looks down at his phone, flipping through it underneath the table. 

”No. You didn't wake me. Thumper wanted to makes themselves known.” Aziraphale made his way around the table to place a kiss to his lover’s temple and sat next to him. Noticing the actions under the table, he just assumed Crowley was just playing some pointless game on his phone. “I never understood the point of those things.” He pointed to the phone, his eyes followed as he keeps the warm teacup clasped between his hands. 

Crowley was in the process of taking a drink of his coffee as he continues to look down at his phone once he heard what he assumed to be a nickname of endearment for their child and spit out the hot beverage from the hilarious nickname. The wasted coffee was now on the table, Crowley’s shirt, and Aziraphale’s cheek. “Sorry, what? Did you just refer to our child as a rabbit?” 

Aziraphale blinks, almost in shock from his lover's small outburst. “Well - no. I didn’t think of it that way. I only referred to them in such a manner because they like to kick an awful lot. Sorry, dear.” 

“Bambi was a crock anyway.” Crowley looks to his phone once more, not saying anything more about it. 

Aziraphale provided an exasperated sigh over his teacup, rolling his eyes not too fondly as he took a sip.”I wasn’t even thinking about -“ 

A vibration from underneath the table caused the blonde to stop talking. Who in their right mind would be calling or texting his lover at this ungodly hour? His first thought was a family emergency that Crowley was trying to keep from him, that would explain why he was awake. But why would he keep something like that from him, fear of unnecessary stress? A little late for that...

_Oh._

Perhaps it was Zane. Somehow he established Crowley's phone number and... and he was now going after his lover instead of him. At this point, Aziraphale was internally having a panic attack even though his face was neutral with what seemed to be mild discomfort. Crowley was none the wiser of this mild panic attack. 

Aziraphale politely excused himself before his inward attack became a full-blown one; he mumbled something about getting dressed as he left his teacup on the table that still had half of its contents left. 

Crowley was confused, to say the least, but didn't object or try to stop him from leaving. Why was his lover acting so odd all of a sudden? Perhaps thumper really did a number on him this time? He was almost certain that his lover's ribs would more than likely be bruised later that day. 

With Aziraphale out of the way, Crowley took the time to quickly check the voice message that was left on his phone. He hadn't forgotten about it, he just wasn't trying to think about it while his lover was in the room. He certainly didn't need unnecessary stress. Crowley takes a deep breath and releases it through his teeth as he clicked the ’listen’ button and places it to his ear, a familiar voice quickly fills the empty room in a faint buzz from the volume. 

_“Crowley? It’s Patricia. I'm calling from a burner phone not to raise any type of suspicion. As you know, Gabriel’s trial is in three days and Azira is meant to stand against him. It seems... That the trial will be postponed until further notice. Crowley, Gabriel has escaped from his holding cell. He -”_ There was a pause and a faint sigh before she continued. _”He killed two guards on his way out... Keep Azira safe, Crowley. Take him out of the country of you have to. I think he might be out for blood, for what is his...”_ she paused once more, a longer one before another sigh was released. _”Keep my son and grandchild safe, Tony. I will hold you accountable for his safety.”_ With that last promise, the voicemail ended. 

Crowley’s normally pale skin was white as he slowly pulled the phone away from his ear, resting his wrist against the edge of the table as his jaw clenched tightly. He wasn't entirely sure how long he stayed like that, lost in his thoughts before those thoughts shifted to his lover and their child’s safety. Oh shit. It had been eerily quiet while he listened to the message and it hadn’t registered in his brain until that moment. ”Zira?” He asked, getting up from his seat, leaving the phone on the table as he made his way down the hallway and into their room. There was no answer. His pace quickens in almost a sprint. He skids to a stop on the hardwood floor once he made it into their empty bedroom. ”Aziraphale?!?” He yells. No answer. 

Aziraphale walks out of the bathroom, looking down at the buttons of his shirt as he does them up, bottom to top. He had earbuds in his ear as he ran his palm down the front of his shirt, over his overextended belly that was now poking out of this shirt as well. He lets out an exasperated sigh of defeat from the lack of clothing that actually fits him nowadays. 

”Angel!” Aziraphale jumps out of his skin once he saw Crowley standing right in front of him, mumbling things that he couldn't hear as he looked over him frantically. It was almost as if he was expecting to find something terribly wrong with him. He was just getting dressed. What could be so horrible about that? 

”Sorry, What?” Aziraphle plucks an earbud from his left ear, his brows knitted together as music filled the room. 

Crowley had his hands firmly wrapped around his brachium, letting out a relieved sigh and pressed his forehead against his lover's own. ”We need to -” What came out was a squeak, so he tried again. ”We need to go on an early vacation, angel.” 

”Are you proposing an early honeymoon? Crowley, I don't know... We have so much to do for the wedding. I don't think I should even be traveling like this.” 

Crowley let go of his lover and took a small step back to look him over once more. He wasn't wrong, but they couldn't stay here... ”You’re right, but it will be even harder to travel after the wedding and the fact of you possibly giving birth while we're away. We don't want them born on a plane, bus or even in a hotel room, do we?” 

”Well, I suppose not. What brought -” 

”Besides, it wasn't a request, angel. We need to get away for a while. Mum’s orders.” 

”Yours or mine?” 

”Yours. My mum doesn't give two shits about either of us. Now, please pack a bag. I'll make the arrangements to leave and then I will pack mine.” 

Aziraphale was about to protest further, but his lover did have a point about all of this and it did sound like something his mother would make them do. Not to mention that he was already becoming fatuiged. It was three am for heaven's sake, and his lover wanted to leave  now ? He pinched the bridge of his nose and let out another exasperated sigh for the second time that night for two unrelated reasons. He was defeated and felt a migraine coming on from lack of sleep. ”Alright. Fine.” He finally agreed and went to the closet to grab their bags that were already packed for there trip that was meant to be in the near future. 

Crowley looked at his lover, jaw slightly slack from the sheer surprise. He.. He didn't know about those. Aziraphale must have packed them before they moved, or perhaps it was on one of those days that he was meant to be sleeping. Either way, he was already prepared for something like this, or he just wanted to be ready when they left for their honeymoon. Just the to - three of them. 

“Oh don’t look at me like that,” Aziraphale rolls his eyes and hands Crowley his own bag. “All you need to grab is your phone, charger, wallet, and keys. I’ll grab a few extra things while you set up the details. Let me know if you want anything else.” He sat his bag on the bed and went into the bathroom, leaving the door open as he rummaged though the medicine cabinet that was behind the mirror. Crowley watching him in curious silence for a moment. The silence was broken by the sound of shattering glass that sounded like it came from the other side of the home. Perhaps the kitchen? 

“Stay here,” Crowley whispered as he slowly made his way down the narrow hallway, Grabbing his metal bat from the spare room that was on his way. He was halfway into the kitchen and spotted the broken window. His bare feet step around the broken glass and moves the curtain to the side with the end of the bat, hanging back just in case whatever it was broke the window would be making an appearance once more. He couldn’t see anything in the darkness of the early morning. There were no animals scurrying about, just the silent wind causingthe tree branches to flourish. He couldn’t even see anything on the kitchen floor besides the broken glass. There was nothing.. then what could have caused this? 

Halfway through that thought, Aziraphale let out a faint yelp. “Crowley!” Rustling of fabric and the squeaking of the wood floor echoes though the house as Crowley made it back to their room... their  _empty_ room. 

“Aziraphale! Where the hell are you?”


	12. Chapter 12

A surprised squeak is withdrawn from Aziraphale as he pats his clothing and quickly steps out of the bathroom once more. It wasn't that he was trying to purposely ignore Crowley, but his own frazzled mind just wouldn't allow him to answer. There was a _snake_ coiling around his chest and ample stomach underneath his shirt, seeking warmth. He wasn't entirely sure how his lover's pet snake, Monty managed to sneak out of his cage. He also wasn't sure how he didn't feel the serpent slither up his pant leg and made its way up. Perhaps it didn't matter now. 

Surprisingly, Aziraphale didn't mind snakes. Not to mention that Monty was practically harmless for a python. It was just the surprise of it all that got to him so quickly, he didn't even notice that the python had begun to tighten around him, it was subtle at first, almost as if the serpent was trying to hug him around his middle... His shoulders... And everything else imaginable. ”C - Row... Can't - breath.” he continues to pat his clothing. 

It felt as if his knees were about to give out from the lack of air and cling to the side of the bed while Crowley quickly made his way over to his lover, ripping open his shirt and quickly spotted the culprit. ”Monty? How did he even get out?” 

Aziraphale made a strangled sound that was cross between a desperate whimper and a choked, irritated sob. How was he meant to know? His guess was good as Crowley’s. ”Get... Off.” he managed to croak out. 

”Yeah, right. Sorry.” Crowley’s words were quick and frantic as his movements.  “Burmese pythons are among the world’s longest reptiles and suffocate their victims before swallowing them whole.” Just a few minutes of research would have turned up the fairly recent study that shows that people who die as a result of python attack, die because their blood pressure raises so high – that the heart cannot beat. The heart is stopped and death occurs. It isn’t asphyxiation that is the cause of death.

Aziraphale really didn't need that bit of information at this particular moment and his glare showed it. This isn't the way he expected to leave this world, and he sure as hell didn't expect it to be today. 

”Right, Right. You don't want a lesson. Just let me - I’m gonna -” instead of wasting time by explaining what he's about to do, Crowley takes off in a sprint to the spare bedroom where Monty was kept, skidding to a halt in front of his cage and quickly snatched a smaller cage that was sat next to the other. It only took him a few seconds to do everything and in those few seconds, Aziraphale had become very pale and even a little blue. Not wasting any more time, Crowley reaches into the cage and pulls out a live mouse, holding it out for the python. It would be rare if this would work, but it did once before, but under completely different circumstances. Crowley was silently praying to anyone that was listing, he didn’t care who, long as his lover and child were safe in the end. 

Monty strikes and takes the mouse, swallowing it whole. It took a few more seconds before he slowly began to unravel himself from around his second owner. Crowley quickly moves to pull the python away from Aziraphale’s frame that slumped to the ground with a thud. 

Crowley was torn, he wanted to help his lover, but he also wanted to put the serpent back in its cage where something like this wouldn’t happen again in the near future or ever. The latter won out. He races to the spare bedroom once more, placing the python in it's home and made sure the top of the aquarium tank was closed before skidding into their bedroom. 

Aside from the shallow rise and fall of his chest, Aziraphale was completely unmoving and had passed out soon as the serpent had let go. ”Hospitle. I need to get you to the hospital.” Crowley rasped through shallow breaths as he easily picked up his lover, grabbing his keys on the way out of the door. He already had his wallet, but he didn't even bother with shoes. There was so much adrenaline surging through his veins that he didn't feel the glass that cut through his barefoot as he walked through the kitchen and out the door. Thankfully, it didn't do anything but cut his foot. 

* * *

It has been twelve hours since Monty decided to give Aziraphale a ’hug’ and he still hasn't woken up. 

Even though Aziraphale and the baby was completely fine and the only lasting damage that would linger for a few weeks was the dark bruising that wrapped around his midsection, but Crowley was almost certain that wasn't from Monty. Well perhaps a little of it was, but most of it had to be from Thumper. He grumbles from using the ridiculous moniker as he sat next to Aziraphale’s hospital bed, silently lost in his thoughts. 

Crowley was honestly thinking of names for their child as he waited for his lover to wake. They still didn't know the gender of the baby, and quite frankly, they both agreed to wait until the youngster arrived. It was hard picking unisex names by himself. His first choice was Stacy. Stacy was a popular name in the 50s-80s with more men having the name than women. He shudders from his own thought. He'd never do that to his child. 

_Perhaps Charlie. No. That was too formal. Skyler? No.. Too many of them. Armani... No! It's a child, not a dammed suit. Salem? For fuck's sake..._

Crowley let put frustrated sigh and threw his phone on the table next to Aziraphale's bed, annoyed from these ridiculous names. 

_What about - Azariah?_ Oh. Oh! He really liked the name. He was almost certain that Zira would agree to it with a little tempting and persuading. Oh yes! Azariah is a perfect name for their child.

* * *

Three more hours pass and Aziraphale is still asleep. Crowley doesn’t really blame him. He’d be asleep too if he wasn’t so giddy with excitement. He couldn’t wait to tell his lover the wonderful name he’d picked out for their child. That, and he just wanted to see those beautiful blue eyes of his. He wanted to hold him and bury his nose in those blonde curls.

After two more hours, the giddiness has begun to wear off. Even against orders of the nurse, Crowley slides in beside Aziraphale’s still sleeping silhouette. Sixteen hours and his lover was still asleep. At this point, he was beginning to worry even though the doctors and nurses said that he was stable and fine. Aziraphale has never slept this long in his entire existence. He was lucky to be functioning on four hours of sleep. 

Crowley’s arm carefully wrapped around his lovers bruised middle and laid his head against a firm shoulder, whispering to his lover about his grand idea. He would of course tell Aziraphale his intention all of this again once he woke, but he needed to say something even though he knew there would be no answer. The silence of the room had finally gotten to him, and even the sound of his own voice was soothing in a way. His words become slurred and his eyes drowsy as he slips into a deep sleep next to the two most important people in his world. 


	13. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’m sorry for such a late post. I will try to get back into doing weekly updates. Please, leave comments and kudos. They’re what motivates me to continue this story. Be safe. 💕

Samuel Fell was furious as he literally busted through the hospital room door, jerking Crowley out of his warm and welcoming slumber. Patricia Fell was following close behind Sam, trying to stop and calm him down. ”Where is he?” He bellowed behind the closed curtain that wrapped around the bed. Crowley wasn't certain why it was closed in the first place, he hasn't done it. Perhaps it was one of the... 

”P - Perhaps he went home to grab a few things for Azira before he woke?” A soft and unsure voice echoes through the room. ”You can't really believe Anthony did this to Azira, do you, Samuel?” Patricia’s hand came up to wrap around her husband’s forearm, instantly making him relax. ”You see how he looks at Azira. There's no denying how he feels.” Word travels fast in small villages, no one can ever believe what is said, but most do. 

A soft, strong-arm sneaks around Crowley’s middle, pulling him flush against the body that was attached to the arm in question. It was soft, warm, but most of all, firm and breathing. ”Angel, ” Crowley whispered through a surprised gasp. ”How long have you been awake?” 

”Long enough, ” Aziraphale nuzzled his nose in the crook of his lover's neck, holding him close. ”He’s here, Father. He's here with me.” He said loud enough for his parents to barely hear. Crowley was left speechless. That bastard. He heard everything that his parents have exchanged between the two of them, and his mother wasn’t wrong. Not in the least. 

Patricia was the first to be seen as she pulls back the curtain, her husband standing behind her, still not completely pleased. Crowley giving them a soft smile and a halfhearted wave. Aziraphale was still wrapped around him protectively, not caring what his parents thought of the sight in front of him. In all honesty, his parents were the only visitors that came to see him besides Crowley. It was a little heartwarming and also a little heartbreaking in Crowley's mind. 

”What happened?” Samuel bellowed, moving around his wife to stand in front of her. A soft hand wraps around one of his shoulders to ground him.

Crowley swallowed, his Adam's apple bobbing against Aziraphale's cheek. ”I uh - well, you see -” 

”His pet snake escaped from the aquarium, seeking warmth and, well - I was the only one in the room at the time. Something flew through our kitchen window and Crowley went to go check it out.” Aziraphale takes a deep breath, trying to catch it after the rushed explanation. 

”I still have no idea what it was.” Crowley admitted. 

”I’ll check the CCTV camera’s in your area, see if I can find anything that would explain what happened.” Samuel was calm and collected after the explanation. Being head of the local police department had its pros and cons, mostly cons. Long hours meant less time with his family, something he's always regretted. ”I want that snake taken care of, Crowley. We don't need this happening again. Understand?” Samuel’s tone was firm and unmoving, not leaving room for negotiations. 

Crowley numbly nodded, thickly swallowing for the second time that night. His mouth was dry, and if he was being honest, it was also relatively uncomfortable. ”Yes, Sam - Sir.” Monty was his pet and second-best friend throughout his childhood. This was going to be a difficult task, but he wasn't about to go back on what he just agreed on. 

”Fantastic, ” Samuel was always agreeable when things went the way he wanted them to, and Crowley was well aware of this bit of information. ”I’ll leave you two to rest and check those cameras. I should have some information by the end of the day.” He gives Crowley a pointed look. ”I’ll get ahold of you by then.” Samuel kisses his wife on the cheek before leaving the room. 

Aziraphale was still very much awake but kept quiet as he continues to hold Crowley close. 

“Well, that went down like a led balloon.” Crowley said, moving to set up. Which in turn, caused a displeased noise to escape the man next to him. 

“I honestly think it went a lot better than I expected.” Patricia Fell admitted, moving around the bed to set at the end of it at her son's side. “How are you feeling, darling?” She asked, combing her hand through tight blonde curls. 

* * *

Crowley watched from the other side of the room, sitting in one of the visitors chairs as he listened to Aziraphale and his mother exchange in small banter and soft endearment, even if it was mostly coming from his mother, it was still heartwarming. He wished that his mother was half of what Mrs. Fell was. 

Crowley’s mother wasn't as open-minded and accepting as Patricia Fell, even if she didn’t truly care if he was gay. Not caring was just as bad as disowning him. But was he really? Perhaps Pansexual was a better term for his sexuality? He really didn't mind that Aziraphale was born a woman, all he cared about was his happiness and wellbeing. Aziraphale was everything to him, it was always that way since the day they met all those years ago as children. He was so lost in his thoughts that he didn’t even realize that Patrica had kissed her son goodbye on the forehead before leaving them to their own devices.   
  


Aziraphale had drifted off into another light slumber before Crowley realized they were alone in the room once more and sighed, leaning his head against the back of the tall chair, closing his eyes to relax for a few moments.

A few moments is all he was given before he heard the door open once more, slower and unsure. Aziraphale’s OBGYN Doctor, Mr. Newt Pulsifer was slowly making his way into the room, trying not to purposely wake the sleeping man in the bed, not even noticing Crowley was ‘asleep’ in the chair, watching his every move. It wasn’t that he was specifically untrustworthy... everyone was at this point. 

Without thinking about his actions, Crowley softly whispered, “Everything alright, Doctor Pulsifer?” causing the doctor to jump out of his skin, dropping his stethoscope. Luckily, it didn’t wake the sleeping blonde.   
  


Doctor Pulsifer nods, clearing his throat as he awkwardly bends down to pick up his tool. Calling the Doctor awkward was an understatement. He was Tall - ish, not a very stylish man with his rather dorky glasses and dark brown hair. Crowley wasn’t sure how he was able to make it through his collage classes. The poor man was so socially awkward. “Y - Yes. Everything is fine Mr. Crowley. I - I just have some new news regarding your child.” 

That caused Crowley’s brows to practically reach his hairline. “New news? Everything seemed fine our last visit. Is everything alright? Did this hurt them?” Sudden dread clouded Crowley’s senses. He couldn’t forgive himself if something happened to the baby because of this.   
  


“I - I’d rather not say anything until Aziraphale wakes, it would be much easier. I just wanted to come check on him.” Doctor Pulsifer offered a soft smile before moving to the door, stopping next to Crowley and patted his shoulder before walking out.   
  


“Bugger.” This couldn’t be good, could it? Was that a form of sympathy the Doctor was showing towards him? Crowley was having a mental breakdown inside of his head, expecting the worst once the Doctor came back again. 


	14. Chapter 14

Aziraphale woke a few hours later feeling like he had been hit by a bus going ninety in a thirty zone. His everything hurt due to the pain medication wearing off. Crowley, being his normal worrisome self, was standing at the edge of his bed, looking down at him with a look of worry in his eyes.   
  


What had happened? How long had he fallen asleep for? “...Row?” Aziraphale managed to croak out, trying to set upright in a more comfortable position, but was met with strong hands softly pressing on his chest to lay him back down.   
  


“Shhh, Don’t move around too much.” One of Crowley’s hands reach up to comb through tight blonde curls. 

“Why do I hurt so much? It didn’t hurt nearly as bad when I first came here.” 

“Adrenaline... and a lot of pain medication. Both are slowly wearing off. Your OB wanted to speak to us once you woke up. Do you feel like you can focus enough or do you need a few minutes?” 

“I think I can focus,” Aziraphale admitted as he tried to set up once again, successfully this time. “Do you know what he wanted?”   
  


“No, he wouldn’t tell me anything. He wanted to wait until you woke up.” Crowley said, pressing the call button to summon a nurse or even his lover’s OB. 

“He should have told you. You’re practically my husband and I signed documents saying that he could release my information to you.” 

Crowley shrugged, moving to set next his lover as a nurse and Aziraphale’s OB walked into the room. 

“Ah, Mr. Fell. It's so nice to see that you're awake.” Doctor Pulsifer said, moving deeper into the room. “I’m not sure how to put this, but I have good news and bad news from some of the tests that I’ve taken since you’ve been here. Which one would you like to hear first?” 

“Good.” Aziraphale said at the same time Crowley said “Bad.”   
  


Doctor Pulsifer looked between them with a confused look, waiting for someone to decide. 

”Good.” Aziraphale repeated firmly. 

”Alright then. Well, it seems that you're having twins. Would you like to know the sex?” Doctor Pulsifer said, looking down at his clipboard. 

“T - twins?” Crowley stammered out, almost falling as he stood. 

“Y - Yes. Please.” Aziraphale said, catching Crowley’s arm to guide him back down to the bed. 

“It’s a boy and a girl. Congratulations to the both of you. Although, now it’s time for the bad news...” Doctor Pulsifer flipped the page on his clipboard. 

”Which is...?” Aziraphale said, still holding the stammering man’s arm next to him. 

”Have you been experiencing cramps that progress through the day. They seem to intensify and then go away by the end of the day?” 

”Y - Yes.” Aziraphale answered, looking at Crowley. ”I know, I should have told you but it didn't seem important.” 

Crowley didn't say anything as he shifted away from his lovers grasp. 

”That was just a small form of preeclampsia. But... it seems that there is a chance that, that small form of preeclampsia can quickly change into eclampsia.”   
  


“W - What is - what are those?” Crowley asked , rather confused.   
  


“Eclampsia occurs when preeclampsia progresses and attacks the central nervous system, causing seizures. If left untreated, it can be fatal for both mother and baby.“ Aziraphale said, looking at his lover than his OB.

”However, with proper prenatal care, it’s very rare for the more manageable preeclampsia to progress into eclampsia. We just have to keep a close eye on all three of them.” Doctor Pulsifer said with a warm smile. “Everything should be fine. It’s just a precaution. Although, if you feel shaky or extremely lightheaded, I want you to call me immediately or make you’re way here if you think you can.” 

Crowley hasn’t said much of anything through the whole exchange. He was stunned that Azirphale even knew what the doctor meant. 

“Thank you, Doctor Pulsifer.” Azirphale said as the man was leaving.   
  


“How did you know what the doctor meant, Zira?” Crowley asked quietly.   
  


“Baby books mostly.” Azirphale admitted, absentmindedly rubbing a hand over his swollen stomach as it jumped a bit from a pointed kick. 

“So twins, eh?”   
  


“It seems so.”   
  


“Think we should tell your parents the news?”

”Good or bad?” 

“Both? They deserve to know.” 

“You’re right. I just don’t want them to worry even more.”   
  


“They’ll worry regardless.” Crowley reached out and placed his hand over his lover’s. “We should tell them tomorrow.”   
  


“Tomorrow it is then...” 


	15. Chapter 15

Two weeks have passed and Aziraphale had since been released from the hospital with little to no complications. He was still ordered to take it easy at home. Lifting was out of the question and so was standing on his feet for too long during the day. It was common for Crowley to fuss over him, but after finding out there might be complications, Aziraphale was lucky to get a moment’s peace. Crowley never left his side, even following him to the bathroom. 

”Crowley, I appreciate the fact that you’re looking out for me, for them. But I'm well aware of how to use the lavatories.” Azira sighed, turning to walk up the stairs. 

”Oh. I have no doubt. But I don't want you falling down the stairs. You could become light-headed and...” Crowley made a sarcastic whistling sound as if his lover was falling. A loud, childish ’puuuuf’ escaped his lips as if his lover exploded as he fell. 

”You’re a prat. I hope you're aware of that.” Azira said as he began walking back up the stairs, closely followed by his lover, and quickly shut the bathroom door before he could follow inside. 

Azira’s phone pinged in his back pocket as he was washing his hands, letting him know there was a text message waiting for him. Drying his hands with a towel, he reached behind him and pulled out his phone. 

_Row ✉️ :_ Are you alright? 

✉️: Your mom called. Apparently, she's coming by to check on you. Your dad might be coming as well. Need me to do anything? 

✉️: We should get married! 

✉️: Please? I need some type of response. I’m worried. 

”Anthony Joshua Crowley!” Azira quickly opened the bathroom door, not phased when he saw his lover standing at the door, phone in hand. ” _Please_.” He tutted and rolled his eyes, making his way back down the stairs, quicker than he should. ”You want to get married. _Now_? When I could pop at any moment? You want to do it now?” it was true, Aziraphale was due any moment now. ”Why _now_?” 

”O - Oh. Bugger.” Azira stopped mid-step, almost missing the last three bottom steps as his stomach rolled, literally rolled. The skin underneath his tight jumper actually lifted the fabric slightly. It was the oddest sensation he's ever felt and wasn't sure if he would ever get used to it. He placed a hand over the firm mass that rolled around. He couldn't tell if it was a hand or a foot. Either way, it was slightly painful. 

After a few moments, the doorbell rang and Crowley moved around his lover to answer the door, making sure he was alright as he placed a hand on his shoulder. Azira gave a nod as he passed. ”I’m not finished with you, Mister.” Azira pointed a finger at his lover as he opened the door. He slowly sat down on the last two steps, peaking like a child to see who was standing at the other side. It wasn't his mother nor his father. He didn't recognize this person and that in itself made him feel a little uneasy. It was a woman, she seemed to be in her late forties, She wore a knit tweed suit and discreet pearl earrings. She could possibly pass as one of Crowley’s relatives. But he's never met this woman and he's met all of Crowley's family and he's never met this person before. 

Her red shoulder-length curls hung around greyish black tweed, Black shades covered her eyes and even hid some of her facial expressions. Something about her might have said _nanny_ , but Azira coughed discreetly and muttered that she could well be the sort of nanny who advertises unspecified but strangely explicit services in certain magazines to himself.

Crowley was left stunned and he stood there with his mouth wide was the door that was still standing wide open. He couldn't form any syllables, let alone any words. Odd sounds came from his throat, some even sounded like he was just gargling. She was a mirror image of the redhead. 

Aziraphale finally got up from his hiding spot after a few moments of strangled sounds and silence from her end. He placed a hand on his lover's shoulder to let him know that he was coming up behind him. ”Excuse my prat of a husband... How can we help you miss...?” 

The mysterious woman turned her head to the side, giving Azirpahle her full attention. 

She introduces herself simply as “Nanny Ashtoreth,” so that she is missing either a given name or a surname.

”Nanny? Well, you must have the wrong home, Miss Ashtoreth. We -” 

”We have been looking for a nanny!” Crowley finally spoke, mostly because he was curious about this woman. She was so familiar, yet so foreign. He ignored the look his lover gave him, knowing that look all too well. They both look down as a grey dog with scarlet eyes pops up from behind her skirt, yipping happily as his tail wags. 

”This is Rover, ” She explained. ”I couldn't bare to part with him. I hope he won't be an issue.”   
  


”Please, come in Nanny Ashtoreth.” Crowley said, taking a step to allow her entry. ”Please, set your things down in the sitting room. Right through there, yes.” He pointed her in the right direction before she disappeared further into the house, Rovers nails clicked against the hardwood floor as he followed close behind.   
  


”I don't like this, Crowley.” Aziraphale harshly whispered over his lover’s shoulder as he shut the door. ”This doesn't feel right. We never put out an add. How did she know to come here?”   
  


Aziraphale was right. It was a bit odd that she just randomly showed up on their doorstep.   
  


They both jumped when there was another knock at the door, this time Aziraphale quickly opened it. His parents were standing there, holding a basket of goodies for their unborn grandchildren. ”Ma, ” Aziraphale greeted her with a soft smile. ”Crowley said you'd be stopping by today, but I thought he was only trying to get my attention. Now really isn't the best of times.” he looked over his shoulder, seeing that his lover was gone. Perhaps he went to speak to the nanny.   
  


”Has something happened?” Patricia asked, handing over the basket and pushed past her child, stepping inside the home.   
  


Aziraphale sighed, stepping aside to let his father inside. ”No. Nothing has happened but we apparently have an appointment to keep.”  
  


”Appointment?” She questioned, slipping off her coat and hanging it by the door. Evidently, his mother wasn't taking no for an answer.   
  


Before he could answer, Crowley, Ashtoreth, and Rover all came from the sitting room. 

”Aziraphale! She’s perfect!” Crowley was excited as he made his way to his lover. ”I hired her five minutes ago.” he didn't even notice his inlaws standing by the door. 

Impulsive. Crowley has always been impulsive and it bothered Azira to no end. 

”You did what?” He said as his mother said, ”hired who?”   
  


Suddenly, Azira didn't feel right. He was becoming pale. This was all moving too quickly for him and it was causing him some distress. ”I think I’ll lay down for a bit.” he handed Crowley the basket and began walking up the stairs once again.   
  


”Shall I help you?” Asked Ashtoreth. ”I really don't mind.” 

”No. No I'll be fine.” He replied, halfway up the stairs. He didn't want to seem like a burden already. She really did seem perfect. But all of this just seemed... Off to him. 

”Azira?” Crowley asked, handing the basket to Patricia before he began walking up the stairs as well. 

”I’m really alright. I'm fine. I just don't feel well. Ma, stay for dinner and we can talk then.” he softly smiled before vanishing down the long hallway.   
  
”Shall I make dinner then, Master Crowley?” Ashtoreth asked. ”Did you have something in mind?” 

”I’ll help you.” Patricia said, making her way to Ashtoreth. ”I always help Azira in the kitchen. Come on. I'm sure between the both of us, we can find something.” 

Ashtoreth nodded and made her way to the kitchen with Patricia, explaining her new position and details while Crowley sorted those out with Samuel over a glass of bourbon. 

Rover didn't follow Ashtoreth, instead he made his way up the stairs into the master bedroom where an Azira shaped lump was under the covers. Rover could sense there was really something wrong with the human. But what?   
  


The raggedy animal jumped on the bed and nuzzled his way underneath the covers with the human, laying right next to his enormous belly, sensing the life growing inside he nuzzled his cold, wet nose against the firmness. It seems Rover has found his new favorite human besides his owner. 


	16. Chapter 16

Over the past few weeks of living in the Crowley household Rover has come to realize one of two things. There was something wrong with the fluffy, blonde human that gave him treats. He seemed nice enough for a human, but he was always so sad... Someone pretty as him shouldn't be that sad, Rover thought as he nuzzled closer to his second favorite human. Miss Ashtoreth will always be his first favorite human, but if he could have two number one favorites, he would choose the fluffy blonde that smelled of old books and his lover's cologne. Rover has refused to leave Aziraphale’s side, not even for a moment, which is why he is moving closer to the human as he reaches for his phone...  
  


It was around 4 A.M when Aziraphale’s phone began to ring, laying on the bedside table as it buzzed and almost fell off. Lucky, he was able to catch it just in time. He didn't even look at the caller ID or even the time before answering it. He just didn't want to wake the sleeping redhead next to him. ”Mr. Fe- Crowley, how can I help you?” He spoke with a broken, sleepy voice while he checked to make sure he didn't do just that. He sighs once he saw one of Crowley's eyes peeking at him from over his pillow. ”Who is it?” he asked, lifting his head, his voice just as broken in such an early hour. Azirpahle shrugged. ”No one has said anything.” He whispered back. ”Just hang up on them. It's probably one of those -”

”Hi, Sunshine.” The voice, a very familiar one finally comes through the other end. Both men become very tense, looking at each other with a horrified expression that could only be seen from the moonlight that shines through the open curtains. Rover began to growl from the sudden change in Aziraphale’s behavior. ”It seems we have some catching up to do. See you in the morning sunshine.” 

Crowley quickly takes the phone from his lover and put it up to his ear. ”You stay the fuck away Gab -” The line went dead before he could even finish the man's name. 

Aziraphale was trembling as Crowley threw the phone across the room, causing a loud ’thud’ sound that more than likely alerted Miss Ashtoreth. If that didn't alert her, Rovers barking would cause an alarm. ”How did he even get your number? It's a burner phone for fucks sake!” Pissed was an understatement of how he felt. Why couldn't he just leave them alone? How was he even out of jail? So many thoughts went through his mind as he rambled, pacing the small area of their bedroom, spewing obscene profanities. While Crowley was having a tirade, Aziraphale was becoming pale as he watched and even listened. It was quite hard not to. 

If Gabriel came for him, he would go willingly this time. ”Crowley, ”He said softly as the redhead continued to pace and spew profanities. ”Crowley,” He pressed it a little further, no change. ”Crowley! Will you please SHUT. UP.” it was so silent in the room that the passing cars could be heard as his lover stopped, looking at him like a deer caught in the headlights of an ole beat up hunting truck. ”Thank You. Now will you please sit down so we can speak about this?” 

”Spe - Speak about this? Angel, this isn't something we can talk about over tea time! Have you forgotten what that man -” He makes a face, like someone was sour on the tip of his tongue. Calling Gabriel anything close to human, even a man, felt wrong to Crowley. ”- Has done to you? Bloody hell, Angel. He almost KILLED YOU!” 

”Perhaps he should have...” Aziraphale spoke softly, looking down at his lap over his extended belly. ”If he would have succeeded, You could’ve had a better life... Without me.” even though his last words were broken, he knew that they have been through a lot together, even as children. But he also knew that he was right, deep down he was right. 

”H - How can you say such a thing, Aziraphale? A better life? Ha! you ARE my life. YOU and those two babies that you're carrying!” 

The guilt was too much for Aziraphale at this point and the tears began to fall freely. ”I - I - If I wasn't s - so worried about what everyone would have thought about my bruises on the first semester of class, I wouldn't have been thrown back into your life, Crowley. You wouldn't have to worry about him... Or me.” 

”What are you saying, Aziraphale?” 

”I’m saying that if he comes for me again that I will go willingly, to save you.” 

Crowley was silent, looking at the blonde, his jaw tightly clenched. ”Like hell you are! An - Aziraphale -” His features soften, almost pleadingly as he kneels beside the bed. ”I don't think I could go on without you. Please. PLEASE don't do this. It's not just you that you have to worry about anymore..” 

Aziraphale looks down at his taut belly, almost shamefully. Damn it to hell! He was right. But he couldn't keep this up. Something had to be done. If not him then... An idea quickly came to mind... an idea that no ’Angel’ should ever conjure up. 

”I know you love me, Crowley. But do you trust me?” 

” ’Course I do... What type of question is that?” His hand began to rub the swell of his lover's stomach absentmindedly. 

”I think I have an idea. One where we get rid of Gabriel once and for all.” 

”I hope you're talking about homicide.” Crowley has been wishing and even praying (even though he would never admit that he had been praying.) that he could wrap his hands around that prat’s neck for months now. Perhaps they need to go with something more subtle... 

”I wouldn’t be so crude about it, but yes...” 

There was an urgent knock that caused both men to leap in place. ”Master Crowley is everything alright?” Miss Ashtoreth’s voice came from the other side of the door, sounding almost sympathetic ”I heard you yelling rather explicit profanity just a few moments ago. Is Mr. Crowley going into labor?” 

”No, everything is -” Crowley cut himself off as a thought crossed his mind.. ”Miss Ashtoreth how long have you been standing there?” he asked, quickly jerking open the bedroom door.

”... Long enough, Master Crowley. Is there something you’ll be needing my assistance with?” She asked, looking to Aziraphale.

Crowley didn't know it was possible, but his lover became even paler from her comment. How did she know what he meant. 

Aziraphale locked eyes with Miss Ashtoreth, even though she still wore her dark lenses in the middle of the night. ”Yes, I believe that we will be needing your assistance. You do know what this will entail, I'm sure.” 

”Of course. I might have been standing by the door since Rover started barking... Perhaps we should talk about this and come up with a plan before morning.” 

”That sounds like a wonderful plan.”Aziraphale said, moving to dress for the day.


	17. Chapter 17

It had only been a few hours since Aziraphale received the call from Gabriel. Two hours and fifty-six minutes to be precise. Even though he was exhausted, he rests his forearms on the kitchen island, Crowley at his right, Miss Ashtoreth to his left, and little Rover laid at his feet, looking up at his second favorite human with sadness and maybe even a bit of anxiety across his tiny face. 

”Aziraphale, I would feel better if you would take a seat.” 

Miss Ashtoreth wraps her long, slender fingers around his waist, pulling him back a bit as his head drops down between his arms, letting out a groan as he rocks on his heels. The pain was unbearable, inevitable. He takes a deep breath through his nose, rocking on his heels with more purchase before he blew out the breath through his parted lips. 

”Angel, please.” 

Crowley begs, quickly glancing at Miss Ashtoreth for some reassurance, for some guidance. She had only been in the Crowley household for a short number of weeks but she has truly been godsent. In all honesty, Crowley wasn't sure what he would have done when this time finally came. THE time. 

”How long has it been, Miss Ashtoreth?” 

Crowley hadn't been there when the first contraction hit and he inwardly cursed himself for not being in the house at the time. He had stepped outside for just a moment to take in the early morning air, to gather his thoughts. What Aziraphale was implying, plotting inside with Miss Ashtoreth was a lot. Crowley wasn't a terrible person before he and Azirpahle bumped into each other again on campus, but he wasn't perfect either. However, he would never MURDER someone. But then again, he would never deny Azirpahle anything. It was a bit off a catch twenty-two situation. Crowley was looking up at the early morning sky, gazing at the stars that were left as the sun began to rise on a new day, when he heard Azirpahle cry out in pain from inside the house, the sound of shattering glass followed as he dropped his angel wing coffee mug from the sudden unbearable pain. It was a previous Christmas gift from Crowley. 

”Oh - Mmm - Fuuu - mmm.” 

Aziraphale placed a hand over against the lower area of his midsection, almost missing the kitchen island as he tried to use it for balance. It would seem the added stress from Gabriel’s call, from the plotting of his unearthly demise was too much for him and had thrown him into slightly early labor. Luckily, it was only two weeks early, for his and the twins’ sake. 

” ’bout an hour now, ” 

Aziraphale breathed through his nose once more, steadying himself after the longest one yet.

” ’Mm fine. Really.” 

Crowley let out an exasperated snarl next to his angel’s ear. 

”Like bloody hell you are! You're an hour in and your water hasn't even -”

He stops short when he heard a bellowing knock on the large wooden door, echoing through the almost silent home, aside from Aziraphale’s wailing and Rover's persistent barking. 

”C - Christ Almighty! They’re coming closer! Please tell me you didn't call my moth - FUCK!” 

In all the time that Crowley had spent with Aziraphale, he had never heard his angel curse. It took him by surprise and it caused him to take a step back, looking down at his sobbing angel, shaking his head in amusement but mostly in a way to answer his angel. 

”No. I never called her. I didn't call your father either. Miss Ashtoreth?” 

Crowley looks at the slightly older woman with a raised brow as she held up her hands defensively, with an almost nonchalant manner. 

”It wasn't me either. I wouldn't know where to begin. I've only met them once!” 

Another knock bellowed through their home, Rovers barking continues. Aziraphale wails, rocking through another contraction. This one felt different, more persistent, longer, and a lot more pressure to boot. His wail becomes louder, higher-pitched as he felt something finally give way, Clear liquid splashed by his feet like a minor wave, almost causing his knees to buckle. His arms, his everything was becoming so weak, so sore. It was becoming a task to simply keep up himself up.

”Will BOTH of you calm down and one of you answer the bloody door, the other can help me ssstand.” 

Miss Ashtoreth moved away from them to answer the door, Crowley helped his lover right himself, whispering words of encouragement into his ear. 

”H - Help me get upstairs, Dear.” Aziraphale’s words came out breathlessly, a sound Crowley couldn't recognize... Unless it was under certain circumstances. He supposed this could be one of them. 

The two of them were halfway up the stairs by the time Miss Ashtoreth reemerged from the entryway, laughing. She was LAUGHING for hell’s sake. Crowley quickly looks over his shoulder, glaring at the woman. 

”Have you finally gone mad?”

He asked with a raised, waiting brow. They didn't have time for this. What could be that funny? He needed to get his angel upstairs before the twins arrived! After what seemed like an eternity, her cackling finally died down, but not completely, enough for her to speak. 

”T - That was Gabriel. H - he thought I was you. IN DRAG!” Her laughing picked up once again. ”He was so stricken with the confusion that he just simply walked away.” 

Even though he was in intense pain, Aziraphale couldn't help but let a breathless laugh escape his pale, parted lips. 

”What are the odds of that? I'm sure this isn't - Nugggh! Oh, it hurts. It hurts so much. C - Crowley!”

Another wail leaves Aziraphale, subconsciously digging his perfectly manicured nails into his lover's arms. At this point, Crowley was externally freaking out. 

”Right. Babies now, Wanker later. Miss Ashtoreth!” 

”Yes, right. Sorry.” 

She lifted her skirt, taking the steps two at a time until she made her way to them, wrapping an arm around Aziraphale’s hips. 

”Come along, dear.” 

Her voice was soothing, quiet, and almost loving as she slowly guided him up the stairs. They were only able to make it up two steps before Aziraphale’s knees finally gave way. Luckily, he didn't fall down the step thanks to Miss Ashtoreth’s tight grip. However, he wasn't able to walk. 

”C - Crowley. I think - Oh - Mmm - Fuu - Shit fuck!” 

Aziraphale let go of Miss Ashtoreth and slowly lowered himself to one of the steps, pulling down his grey sweats until they were around his ankles. 

”What? What is it, my love?” 

”I think what he’s trying to say is, he's not going to make it to the bedroom.” 

Miss Ashtoreth looks between his legs, already seeing a head, a head full of blond curls. Crowley was a bit confused at first until he followed her gaze. 

”Oh fuck, ’Ziraphale!” 

Another loud wail leaves the pained blond, longer, higher. He was pushing, his face showing signs of exhaustion, sweat rolling down his forehead. 

”Quick, lift his legs.” 

Miss Ashtoreth said, kneeling down to grab the left leg, Crowley quickly lifted the right. 

”B - Blankets.” 

Aziraphale huffed out, his breathing labored as the contraction finally died away. 

”Quick. Make it quick.” 

Miss Ashtoreth looks over to Crowley, taking over the right leg as well. He quickly makes his way up the stairs and into the twins’ room, grabbing two simple receiving blankets, one blue and one pink. Another wail echoed through the home, but it wasn't Aziraphale this time. No, it was the wailing of a small infant. 

”Crowley. Hurry! IT’S A BOY!” 

Miss Ashtoreth couldn't hide the excitement in her voice as she placed the small wailing newborn on Aziraphale’s chest. His arm instantly wraps around the tiny human, tears freely falling as his body trembles from the aftershock. Crowley skids to a halt at the top of the stairs, looking down at the scene. Aziraphale tilts his head back to look at Crowley, beaming with pride. His smile quickly faltered once he felt another contraction coming. He tried to out the crying baby boy for someone to take. 

”Miss Ashtoreth - Please take hi - Nuuugh! fUcK!” 

Crowley reaches down and wraps him in the blue blanket, keeping the cord intact as he silently looms down at HIS son. No amount of true blood could change that. He was completely stricken by the sight of the blond curled and blue-eyed boy.

Aziraphale honestly didn't feel his son leave his body, but he felt every bit of his daughter. It burned, oh it hurt, it stung as she slowly, ever so slowly inched her way out. After thirty minutes of pushing, he began to worry.

”I - I think she's s - stuck somehow!” 

”We need to get him to a hospital, Miss Ashtoreth.” 

Crowley sat down next to his lover, brushing back a rough, blond curl that was stuck to his forehead before placing a kiss there. 

”No! I - Can help him. But I'll need your help. Grab his leg again.” 

Crowley complied, reaching his free hand out to grab said leg, his son still in his other arm. 

”Aziraphale. Next time you push, I'm going to gently press on your stomach. It will hurt... A lot because your uterus is already shrieking back to the way it was.” 

Miss Ashtoreth lifted his left leg over her shoulder so she could have access to both of her hands. Another ear-piercing wail leaves Aziraphale. 

”Good. NOW!” 

Aziraphale bit down on his lower lip, badly enough to draw blood and bruise as he pushed hard as he could, giving up on the last second. He was so exhausted, so sore. 

”I can't. I can't. I just can't.” 

He shook his head, unshed tears cloud his vision. 

”You can and you WILL. One more time. That's all we need.”

Miss Ashtoreth was trying to be as encouraging as she could when Crowley leans in close to place a kiss on his temple. 

”Just one more.” 

Crowley whispered against his sweat-stained skin. 

Another wail, another push, and another slight of Miss Ashtoreth’s hand, and another wail... Aziraphale was so out of touch with reality, that he didn't even hear his daughter cry her first cry, take her first breath. He didn't feel Miss Ashtoreth place the crying child on his chest. He felt numb as his body trembled from the aftershock of pain. All Aziraphale remembers is look over to Crowley with a groggy smile that was covered with pride as everything around him went black...


End file.
